only understood the rules of distraction,
provision, multiplying, replenishing, and the common dominator, and knew
all about the rivers and their obituaries, the covenants and domitories,
the provinces and the umpires, they had eddication enough. But now they
are to study bottomy, algierbay, and have to demonstrate supposition of
sycophants of circuses, tangents and Diogenes and parallelogramy, to say
nothing about the oxhides, corostics, and abstruse triangles!" Thus
saying, the old lady leaned back in her chair, her knitting work fell in
her lap, and for some minutes she seemed in meditation.

OBEYING ORDERS.

A CERTAIN General of the United States Army, supposing his favorite
horse dead, ordered an Irishman to go and skin him.

"What! is Silver Tail dead?" asked Pat.

"What is that to you?" said the officer, "do as I bid you, and ask me no
questions."

Pat went about his business, and in about two hours returned.

"Well, Pat, where have you been all this time?" asked the general.

"Skinning your horse, your honor."

"Did it take you two hours to perform the operation?"

"No, your honor, but then you see it took me about half an hour to catch
the horse."

"Catch him! Fires and furies--was he alive?"

"Yes, your honor, and I could not skin him alive, you know."

"Skin him alive! did you kill him?"

"To be sure I did, your honor--and sure you know I must obey orders
without asking questions."

A REASON.

AS a nobleman was receiving from Louis XIII. the investiture of an
Ecclesiastical Order, and was saying, as is usual on that occasion,
_Domine, non sum dignus._--"Lord, I am not worthy." "I know that well
enough," replied the king, "but I could not resist the importunity of my
cousin Cardinal Richelieu, who pressed me to give it you."

CANVASSING.

AT an election, a candidate solicited a vote.

"I would rather vote for the devil than you," was the reply.

"But in case your friend is not a candidate," said the solicitor, "might
I then count on your assistance?"

WIT OF AN IRISH JARVEY.

AN anecdote, illustrative of the wit of Irish "jarveys," is going the
rounds in Dublin. Mr. ---- is a man of aldermanic proportions. He
chartered an outside car, t'other day, at Island Bridge Barrack, and
drove to the post-office. On arriving he tendered the driver sixpence,
which was strictly the fare, though but scant remuneration for the
distance. The jarvey saw at a glance th