g respecting the purposes of
the modern Hercules became irrepressible, and he invited him to his
room, and inquired who he was, and what object he had in view in
watching his movements thus pertinaciously.

"Why, you see," said the stranger, ejecting a quid of tobacco that might
have freighted a small skiff, "I'm a ringtailed roarer from Big Sandy
River; I can outrun, outjump, and outfight any man in Kentucky. They
telled me in Danville, that this 'ere lawyer was comin down to give you
a lickin. Now I hadn't nothin agin that, only he wan't a goin to give
you fair play, so I came here to see you out, and now if you'll only say
the word, we can flog him and his mates, in the twinkling of a quart
pot."

Mr. D. soon learned the feeling in which the champion regarded him, and
withdrew without attempting to execute his threats of vengeance upon the
Judge.

JUDGE PETERS.

ON his entrance into Philadelphia, General Lafayette was accompanied in
the barouche by the venerable Judge Peters. The dust was somewhat
troublesome, and from his advanced age, &c., the General felt and
expressed some solicitude lest his companion should experience
inconvenience from it. To which he replied: General you do not recollect
that I am a JUDGE--I do not regard the DUST, I am accustomed to it. The
lawyers throw dust in my eyes almost every day in the court-house."

WITTY APOLOGY.

A PHYSICIAN calling one day on a gentleman who had been severely
afflicted with the gout, found, to his surprise, the disease gone, and
the patient rejoicing in his recovery over a bottle of wine. "Come
along, doctor," exclaimed the valetudinarian, "you are just in time to
taste this bottle of Madeira; it is the first of a pipe that has just
been broached." "Ah!" replied the doctor, "these pipes of Madeira will
never do; they are the cause of all your suffering." "Well, then,"
rejoined the gay incurable, "fill up your glass, for now that we have
found out the cause, the sooner we get rid of it the better."

BENEVOLENCE.

"TAKE a ticket, Sir, for the Widow and Orphans Fund of the Spike
Society?" "Well, y-e-a-s!--don't care much though for the orphans, but
_I goes in strong for the widows_!"

MRS. PARTINGTON ON EDUCATION.

MRS. PARTINGTON, after listening to the reading of an advertisement for
a young ladies' boarding school, said:

"For my part, I can't deceive what on airth eddication is coming to.
When I was young, if a girl