e king, seeing him in the ranks, unfortunately reversed the
questions:

Q. How long have you been in my service?

A. Twenty-one years, and please your majesty.

Q. How old are you?

A. One year.

The king, surprised, said, "Either you or I must be a fool." The
soldier, taking this for the third question, relative to his pay and
clothing, replied, "_Both_, and please your majesty."

CONSOLATION.

AN Irish officer had the misfortune to be dreadfully wounded in one of
the late battles in Holland. As he lay on the ground, an unlucky
soldier, who was near him, and was also severely wounded, made a
terrible howling, when the officer exclaimed, "What do you make such a
noise for? _Do you think there is nobody killed but yourself?_"

SEVERAL NEGATIVES.

"MISTER, I say, I don't suppose you don't know of nobody who don't want
to hire nobody to do nothing, don't you?" "Yes, I don't."

DIFFERENT LINES.

A PERSON arrived from a voyage to the East Indies inquired of a friend
after their mutual acquaintance, and, among the rest, one who had the
misfortune to be hanged during his absence:

"How is Tom Moody?"

"He is dead."

"He was in the grocery line when I left this."

"He was in quite a different _line_ when he died."

NEGRO WIT.

A JAMAICA PLANTER, with a nose as fiery and rubicund as that of the
_illuminating_ Bardolph, was taking his _siesta_ after dinner, when a
mosquito lighting on his _proboscis_, instantly flew back. "Aha! massa
mosquito," cried Quacco, who was in attendance, "_you burn your foot!_"

THEATRICAL BON-MOT.

IN a very thin house in the country, an actress spoke very low in her
communication with her lover. The actor, whose benefit it happened to
be, exclaimed with a face of woeful humor, "My dear, you may speak out,
there is nobody to hear us."

CONCISENESS.

LOUIS XIV. traveling, met a priest riding post. Ordering him to stop, he
asked hastily, "Whence? whither? for what?" He answered,
"Bruges--Paris--a benefice." "You shall have it."

ALLIES WILL FALL OUT.

A GENTLEMAN having to fight a main in the country, gave charge to his
servant to carry down two cocks. Pat put them together in a bag; on
opening which, at his arrival, he was surprised to find one of them
dead, and the other terribly wounded. Being rebuked by his master for
putting them in the same bag, he said he thought there was no danger of
them hurting each other,