especially when in liquor. I have myself, when inebriated, a very
disagreeable propensity, if I hear any person abusing my country, to
take the first thing I can lay hold of, and knock that man down. I hope
therefore the company will excuse me if anything of the kind should
happen." General Lee did not that afternoon indulge his propensity.

UNCONSCIONABLE EXPECTATION.

A CULPRIT having been adjudged, on a conviction of perjury, to lose his
ears, when the executioner came to put the sentence in force, he was
rather disappointed at finding the fellow had been cropped before. The
criminal with great _sang froid_ exclaimed, "What! do you think I am
always obliged to find you ears?"

A CASE OF ALARM.

AN Irish gentleman, hearing that his widowed mother was married again,
said, in great perturbation, "I hope she won't have a son _older than
me_, to cut me out of the estate!"

INDIAN FINESSE.

SOON after the settlement of New England, Governor Dudley saw a stout
Indian idling in the market-place of Boston, and asked him why he did
not work? He said he had nobody to employ him, but added, "Why don't you
work, massa?" "Oh!" says the Governor, "my head works; but come, if you
are good for any thing I will give you employment." He accordingly took
him into his service, but soon found him to be an idle and thievish
vagabond. For some tricks one day, his Excellency found it necessary to
order him a whipping, which he did by a letter he desired him to carry,
addressed to the provost marshal. Jack's guilty conscience made him
suspect the contents, and meeting another Indian, he gave him a glass of
rum to carry it for him. The poor devil willingly undertook to deliver
it, and the marshal, as directed, caused the bearer to receive a hearty
flogging. When this reached the Governor's ears, he asked Mr. Jack how
he dared do such a thing. "Ah! massa," said he, "_head work_!"

ECONOMICAL.

MRS. PARTINGTON says that she did not marry her second husband because
she loved the male sex, but just because he was the size of her first
protector, and would come so good to wear his old clothes out.

GOOD TOAST.

AT a dinner in Springfield, Mass., recently, a lady sent the following
volunteer toast:--"_Spruce_ old bachelors--the _ever greens_ of
society."

NEW CAUSE OF IMPRISONMENT.

A COUNSEL having been retained to oppose a person justifying bail in the
Court of King's Bench, after aski