lling to go, my friend?"

"Oh, yes," said the sick man, "I am."

"Well," said the simple minded deacon, "I am glad you are, for _all the
neighbors are willing_!"

MATERNAL ADVICE.

A NOBLE Lord being in his early years much addicted to dissipation, his
mother advised him to take example by a gentleman, whose food was herbs,
and his drink water. "What! Madam," said he, "would you have me to
imitate a man, who _eats like a beast, and drinks like a fish_!"

PROVERBS APPLIED.

A "FAT and greasy citizen," having made a ridiculous motion in the
Common Council, observed afterwards at a select _dinner party_, (or
rather _party dinner_,) that he was afraid he should be _hauled over the
coals_ for it. An alderman present observed, "_Then all the fat would be
in the fire._"

PROOF OF YORKSHIRE.

A LAD, seeing a gentleman in a public house eating eggs, said,

"Be so good, Sir, as give me a little salt."

"Salt, for what?"

"Perhaps, Sir, you'll ask me to eat an egg, and I should like to be
ready."

"What country are you from, my lad?"

"I's Yorkshire, Sir."

"I thought so--Well, there take your egg."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Well, they are great horse-stealers in your country are not they?"

"Yes; my father, though an honest man, would think no more of taking a
horse, than I would of drinking your glass of ale," _taking it off_.

"Yes, I see you are Yorkshire."

SCOTCH WEATHER.

ON a very wet day in the west of Scotland, a traveler, who had been
detained a week by bad weather, peevishly asked a native, if it always
rained in that country? He replied, drily, "No, it _snows sometimes_."

AN OBSERVATION EXEMPLIFIED.

A BOY on the stage danced very finely and obtained much applause. A
senior dancer enviously observed, that he never knew a clever boy turn
out a great man. The boy said, "Sir, you must have been a very clever
boy."

TIT FOR TAT.

DOBBS was up and doing, April Fool Day. A singular phenomenon was to be
seen in the vicinity of his place of business. Dobbs went home from his
store, the last evening in March, and while taking his tea, remarked to
his wife, that his colored porter had been blessed with an increase in
his family.

"Why," said Mrs. D., "that makes nine!"

"Exactly," said he; "but the singularity about this new comer, is, that
one half of its face is black."

"Dear me!" exclaimed Mrs. D., "that is singular, indeed. How strange!
What