GAR asking alms under the character of a poor scholar, a gentleman
put the question, _Quomodo vales?_ The fellow, shaking his head, said he
did not understand his honor. "Why," said the gentleman, "did you not
say you were a poor scholar?" "Yes," replied the other, "a very poor
scholar; so much so that I don't understand a word of Latin."

AN ESPECIAL FAVOR.

A BARONET scientifically skilled in pugilism, enjoyed no pleasure so
much as giving gratuitous instructions in his favorite art. A peer
paying him a visit, they had a sparring-match, in the course of which he
seized his lordship behind, and threw him over his head with a violent
shock. The nobleman not relishing this rough usage, "My lord," said the
baronet, respectfully, "I assure you that I never show this manoeuvre
except to my particular friends."

A CHARM.

BUCHANAN the historian was, from his learning, thought in his days of
superstition to be a wizard. An old woman, who kept an ale-house in St.
Andrews, consulted George, in hopes that by necromantic arts he might
restore her custom, which was unaccountably decreasing. He readily
promised his aid. "Every time you brew, Maggy," says he, "go three times
to the left round the copper, and at each round take out a ladle-full of
water in the devil's name; then turn three times round to the right, and
each time throw in a ladle-full of malt in God's name; but above all,
wear this charm constantly on your breast, and never during your life
attempt to open it, or dread the worst." She strictly conformed, and her
business increased astonishingly. On her death her friends ventured to
open and examine the charm, when they found it to contain these words:

"If Maggy will brew good ale,
Maggy will have good sale."

SHORT DIALOGUE.

_Lady_: You can not imagine, captain, how deeply I feel the want of
children, surrounded as I am by every comfort--nothing else is wanting
to render me supremely happy.

_Captain O'Flinn_: Faith, ma'am, I've heard o' that complaint running in
families; p'rhaps your mother had not any childer either?

A BLUNT WITNESS.

AT a late term of the Court of Sessions a man was brought up by a
farmer, accused of stealing some ducks.

"How do you know they are your ducks?" asked the defendant's counsel.

"Oh, I should know them _any_ where," replied the farmer; and he went on
to describe their different peculiarities.

"Why," said the prisoner's counse