y a friend asked him how the entertainment came off. "Oh, it was
very amusing," replied Oberon, "the ladies hemmed and I hawed."

POETRY DONE TO ORDER.

ON one occasion a country gentleman, knowing Joseph Green's reputation
as a poet, procured an introduction to him, and solicited a "first-rate
epitaph" for a favorite servant who had lately died. Green asked what
were the man's chief qualities, and was told that "Cole excelled in all
things, but was particularly good at raking hay, which he could do
faster than anybody, the present company, of course, excepted." Green
wrote immediately--

"Here lies the body of John Cole:
His master loved him like his soul;
He could rake hay; none could rake faster,
Except that raking dog, his master."

THE RIVAL CANDIDATES.

TWO candidates disputed the palm for singing, and left the decision to
Dr. Arne, who having heard them exert their vocal abilities, said to the
one, "You, Sir, are the worst singer I ever heard." On which the other
exulting, the umpire, turning to him, said, "And as for you, Sir, you
cannot sing at all."

PARLIAMENTARY ORATORY.

A MEMBER of parliament took occasion to make his maiden speech, on a
question respecting the execution of a particular statute. Rising
solemnly, after three loud hems, he spoke as follows: "Mr. Speaker, have
we laws, or have we not laws? If we have laws, and they are not
executed, for what purpose were they made?" So saying, he sat down full
of self-consequence. Another member then rose, and thus delivered
himself: "Mr. Speaker, did the honourable member speak to the purpose,
or not speak to the purpose? If he did not speak to the purpose, to what
purpose did he speak?"

A BROAD HINT.

AN Irish gentleman, of tolerable assurance, obtruded his company where
he was far from being welcome; the master of the house, indeed,
literally kicked him down stairs. Returning to some acquaintance whom he
had told his intention of dining at the above house, and being asked why
he had so soon returned, he answered, "I got a hint that my company was
not agreeable."

PARLIAMENTARY ORATORY.

MR. ADDISON, whose abilities no man can doubt, was from diffidence
totally unable to speak in the house. In a debate on the Union act,
desirous of delivering his sentiments, he rose, and began, "Mr. Speaker,
_I conceive_"--but could go no farther. Twice he repeated,
unsuccessfully, the same attempt; wh