_Pseud._ It is not fit I should teach you for nothing; pay me, and you
shall hear it.

_Phil._ I will not pay for bad Arts.

_Pseud._ Then will you give away your Estate?

_Phil._ I am not so mad neither.

_Pseud._ But my Gain by this Art is more certain than yours from your
Estate.

_Phil._ Well, keep your Art to yourself, only give me a Specimen that I
may understand that what you say is not all Pretence.

_Pseud._ Here's a Specimen for you: I concern myself in all Manner of
Business, I buy, I sell, I receive, I borrow, I take Pawns.

_Phil._ Well, what then?

_Pseud._ And in these Affairs I entrap those by whom I cannot easily be
caught.

_Phil._ Who are those?

_Pseud._ The soft-headed, the forgetful, the unthinking, those that live
a great Way off, and those that are dead.

_Phil._ The Dead, to be sure, tell no Tales.

_Pseud._ If I sell any Thing upon Credit, I set it down carefully in my
Book of Accounts.

_Phil._ And what then?

_Pseud._ When the Money is to be paid, I charge the Buyer with more than
he had. If he is unthinking or forgetful, my Gain is certain.

_Phil._ But what if he catches you?

_Pseud._ I produce my Book of Accounts.

_Phil._ What if he informs you, and proves to your Face he has not had
the Goods you charge him with?

_Pseud._ I stand to it stiffly; for Bashfulness is altogether an
unprofitable Qualification in this Art. My last Shift is, I frame some
Excuse or other.

_Phil._ But when you are caught openly?

_Pseud._ Nothing's more easy, I pretend my Servant has made a Mistake,
or I myself have a treacherous Memory: It is a very pretty Way to jumble
the Accounts together, and this is an easy Way to impose on a Person: As
for Example, some are cross'd out, the Money being paid, and others have
not been paid; these I mingle one with another at the latter End of the
Book, nothing being cross'd out. When the Sum is cast up, we contend
about it, and I for the most Part get the better, tho' it be by
forswearing myself. Then besides, I have this Trick, I make up my
Account with a Person when he is just going a Journey, and not prepared
for the Settling it. For as for me, I am always ready. If any Thing be
left with me, I conceal it, and restore it not again. It is a long Time
before he can come to the Knowledge of it, to whom it is sent; and,
after all, if I can't deny the receiving of a Thing, I say it is lost,
or else affirm I have sent that which I have not sent, a