on the sermon, in
which the preacher had declared that animals, lacking souls, could not
go to heaven. As the result of her meditation, she presented a problem
to the family at the dinner table, when she asked earnestly:

"If cats don't go to heaven, where do the angels get the strings for
their harps?"

CHARITY

"Oh, mamma," questioned the child, "who's that?" He pointed to a nun who
was passing.

"A Sister of Charity," was the answer.

"Which one," the boy persisted, "Faith or Hope?"

CHICKEN-STEALING

The Southern planter heard a commotion in his poultry house late at
night. With shot gun in hand, he made his way to the door, flung it open
and curtly ordered:

"Come out of there, you ornery thief!"

There was silence for a few seconds, except for the startled clucking of
the fowls. Then a heavy bass voice boomed out of the darkness:

"Please, Colonel, dey ain't nobody here 'cept jes' us chickens!"

CHRISTIANITY

A shipwrecked traveler was washed up on a small island. He was terrified
at thought of cannibals, and explored with the utmost stealth.
Discovering a thin wisp of smoke above the scrub, he crawled toward it
fearfully, in apprehension that it might be from the campfire of
savages. But as he came close, a voice rang out sharply:

"Why in hell did you play that card?" The castaway, already on his
knees, raised his hands in devout thanksgiving.

"Thank God!" he exclaimed brokenly. "They are Christians!"

CHRISTMAS

A political boss wished to show his appreciation of the services of a
colored man who possessed considerable influence. He suggested to the
darky for a Christmas present the choice between a ton of coal and a jug
of the best whiskey.

The colored man spoke to the point:

"Ah burns wood."

* * *

Santa Claus inserted an upright piano, a fur dolman, a Ford, and a few
like knick-knacks in the Chicago girl's stocking. When he saw that it
was not yet half filled, he withdrew to the roof, plumped down on the
snow, and wept bitterly.

CHURCH

The young members of the family had been taught to be punctilious in
contributing to the collection at church. One Sunday morning, when the
boxes were being passed, James, aged six, ran his eye over those in the
pew, and noticed that a guest of his sister had no coin in her hand.
"Where is your money?" he whispered. She answered that she hadn't any.
But James was equal to the emergency:

"