g."

When his Liver was at Perihelion, he had a Complexion suggesting an
Alligator-Pear, and his Eye-Balls should have been taken out and
burnished.

He could see little dirigible Balloons drifting about in all parts of
the deep-blue Ether. His Tummy told him that some one had moved in and
was giving a Chafing-Dish Party. Furthermore, a red-hot Awl had been
inserted under each Shoulder Blade.

When every Tree was a Weeping Willow and the Sun went slinking behind a
Cloud, his only definite Yearn was to crawl into a dark Cellar with
Fungus on the Walls and do the Shuffle, after making a sarcastic Will
that disinherited all Relatives and Friends.

This poor, stricken Gloomer had time-tabled himself all over the
Universe, trying to close in on a Climate that would put him on his
Feet and keep him Fit as a Fiddle.

He had de-luxed himself to remote Spots that were supplied with Steam
Heat and French Cooking, together with Wines, Liquors, and Cigars, but
no matter what the Altitude or the Relative Humidity, he felt
discouraged every Morning when he awoke and remembered that presently
he would have to rally his Vital Forces and walk all the way to the
Tub.

It was too bad that a Clubman, so eminent Socially, should be thus shot
to Rags and Fragments. Could aught be more Piteous than to Witness a
proud and haughty Income tottering along the Street, searching in vain
for a Workingman's Appetite? When one with a spending possibility of
$2 a Minute is told by a Specialist to drink plenty of Hot Water, the
Words seem almost Ironic.

His Operating Expenses kept running up, and yet it looked like sheer
Waste to lavish so much Collateral on the upkeep of a Physical Swab.

To show you how he worked at recouping his Health, once he spent a
whole Summer in Merrie England. He had been told by a Globe-Trotter
that One lodging within a mile of Trafalgar Square could hoist
unlimited Scotch and yet sidestep the Day After.

The Explanation offered by members of the Royal Alcoholic Society is
that the Moisture in the Atmosphere counterbalances or nullifies, so to
speak, the interior Wetness.

Also, the normal state of Melancholy is such that even a case of
Katzenjammer merely blends in with the surrounding Drabness.

He experimented sincerely with the Caledonian Cure, acquiring a rich
sunset Glow, much affected by half-pay Majors and the elderly Toffs who
ride in the Row. He began to wear his Arteries on the outside, just
l