y to die in the last ditch rather than
yield to the advocates of Immersion. After viewing the Problem in all
its Aspects, he and Honey compromised by deciding that the Bairns were
to be orthodox Baptists.

Having sponged every Blot from the Escutcheon and laid out the Labels
for all Generations yet unborn, the incipient Benedick thought there
would be nothing more to it except Holding Hands and watching the
Calendar.

Just then a Dress-Maker swooped down and stole away the Light of his
Life.

Every time he went up to scratch on the Door and beg for a Kiss, a
Strange Lady with Pins in her Mouth would come out and shoo him away,
explaining that the Pearl of Womanhood was laid out in the Operating
Room, being measured for something additional.

Occasionally he saw her, at one of the many Dinners decreed by Custom.
They had to sit Miles apart, with Mountains of unseemly Victuals
stacked between them, while some moss-grown Offshoot of the Family
Tree rose and conquered his Asthma long enough to propose a Toast to
the Bride.

What they really craved was a Dim Corner and a box of Candied Cherries.

The only Speeches they wished to hear could have been constructed out
of the 40 words of standard Baby Talk, comprising what is known as the
Mush Vocabulary.

Yet they had to muster the same old property Smile every time that
Charley Bromide or old Mr. Platitude lifted a shell of sparkling
Vinegar and fervently exclaimed, "Thuh Bride!"

Even after the Menu had been wrecked and the satiated Revelers had
laboriously pried themselves away from the decorated Board, there was
no escape.

The Women Folks led Adele away to some remote Apartment to sound a Few
Warnings, while the Men sat around in the Blue Smoke and joshed
Ferdinand to a fare-ye-well.

Each morning he found in his Mail a few Sealed Orders from Headquarters
and about as many Stage Directions as would be required for putting on
the Annual Show at the Hippodrome.

When he was not begging some one to come and Ush for him, he was either
checking over the Glove List with a terrified Best Man or getting
measured for a full layout of dark Livery that made him look like a
refined Floor-Walker.

It seemed that Adele had a Step-Mother who had been crouched for Years
waiting for a chance to bust into the Papers. Nothing would do her but
a regular Madison Square Phantasmagoria, with two Rings and an elevated
Platform.

She wanted Ribbons down the Aisle and little Gi