the String from the Wallet, but he
would Dig if he thought he was boosting his own Game.

By stealthy short-weighting of the Country Trade and holding out on the
Assessor, he succeeded in salting away numerous Kopecks in one corner
of the Safe.

While in Chicago to buy his Winter Stock, he bargained for two days and
finally bought a Cottage Melodeon, with the Stool thrown in.

Jennie would sit up and pump for Hours at a time, happy in the
knowledge that she had drawn the Capital Prize in the Lottery of Hymen.

In the year 1886 there was some Church Wedding at the County Seat.
Frances, daughter of Hiram and Jennie, had knocked the Town a Twister
when she came home from the Female College wearing Bangs and toting a
Tennis Racquet.

All the local Gallants, with Cocoa-Oil in their hair and Rings on their
Cravats, backed into the Shrubbery.

Hiram had bought her about $1800 worth of Hauteur at the select
Institution of Learning. All she had to do was look at a Villager
through her Nose-Specs and he would curl up like an Autumn Leaf.

A Cuss from Chicago came to see her every two weeks.

His Trousers seemed to be choking him. The Pompadour was protected by
a Derby of the Fried-Egg species. It was the kind that Joe Weber
helped to keep in Public Remembrance. But in 1886 it was de Rigeur,
au Fait, and a la mode.

Frances would load the hateful City Chap into the high Cart and exhibit
him up and down all the Residence Thoroughfares.

On nearly every Front Porch some Girl whose Father was not interested
in the First National Bank would peer out through the Morning Glories
at the Show-off and then writhe like an Angle-Worm.

The Wedding was the biggest thing that had struck the town since
Forepaugh stopped over on his way from Peoria to Decatur.

Frances was not a popular Girl, on account of being so Uppish, so those
who could not fight their way into the Church climbed up and looked
through the Windows.

The Groom wore a Swallow-Tail.

Most of those present had seen Pictures of the Dress Suit. In the
_Fireside Companion,_ the Gentleman wearing one always had Curls, and
the Wood-Engraving caught him in the act of striking a Lady in the Face
and saying "Curse you!"

The Feeling at the County-Seat was that Frances had taken a Desperate
Chance.

The caterer with Colored Help in White Gloves, the ruby Punch suspected
of containing Liquor, the Japanese Lanterns attached to the Maples, the
real Lace in the Veil