Extemporaneous Address,
and he could smile, with his Teeth exposed, for an Hour at a time.
In fact, he was a great Success.

At first he took in the Symphony Orchestra because he was dragged
thither. After about two years the Virus had permeated his System, and
he was a regular Brahmsite. If he didn't get a full dose of Peer Gynt
every few days, he was as nervous as a Cat.

The tall and straight-grained Heiress who finally landed him was only
too glad to slip him the Bank-Book and tell him to go and sit in with
the other Directors.

And now, having become a shiny Pillar in the Presbyterian Temple and
one of the most respected Umbrella-Carriers on the Avenue, he felt a
longing to beat it back to the home Burg and exhibit his Virtues to the
members of the I-Knew-Him-When Club.

He wanted to patronize the Friends of his Youth and note the
Expressions of Discomfiture on the so-called Faces of Aunt Lib and
Uncle Jethro, both of whom had told around that he was a Gnat (Net)
and never would amount to a Hill of Beans.

Elmer expected to find the same spotted Dog asleep in front of the
Commercial Hotel and the same Stick Candy exhibited in the Show
Windows.

But, while he had been witnessing the downfall of Evil in the busy
Metropolis, the Home Town had been putting on a little Side-Show of its
own.

Along at the gateway of the 20th Century, every undersized Hamlet shown
in the Atlas became seized with a Desire to throw on City Lugs.

The same Father who had marked the Talmage Book for Elmer became
Chairman of the House Committee in a Club which undertook to serve
anything usually found on either side of a Cash Register.

Being in the heart of the Residence District, this select Organization
could not obtain a regular License.

However, having the moral support of the Best People, it maintained a
Blind Pig.

The combination of Blind Pig, two playful Kitties up-stairs, and a lot
of gay Dogs spread out on the upholstered Chairs, certainly proved to
be some Menagerie.

It was a matter of Pride with the Members that the Colored Boy could
shake up anything known to the Regular Trade at the Knickerbocker or
the Plaza.

One of their main Delights, also, was to welcome the Stranger, who
thought he was sojourning among the Rubes, and lead him into the Roodle
Department, the purpose being to get him out on a Limb and then saw off
the Limb.

Poker was written in a Small Town. The Hay-Mow Graduate with a limited
Inc