ide-Boards blossomed with
Fusel Oil and Fizzerine.

Intense Excitement prevailed when word came that Elmer was En Route.
Little Knots of People could be seen standing on the Corners, framing
a Schedule of Entertainment which involved nearly everything except
Sleep.

They said to themselves: "It is up to us to show this proud Pill from
the City that we can be a bit Goey when the Going is right. If he
thinks he can pull any new Wrinkles on the Provincials, he is entitled
to another Think. We must get into our Evening Glads early this
Afternoon and clear the Decks for a Hard Night."

While they were making these grim Preparations, Elmer was doubled up in
Section 8, reading a sterilized Magazine from Boston. Subconsciously
he counted the peaceful Days that would ensue.

He figured on going back to the dear old Room under the Eaves, with a
patch-work Quilt on the Four-Poster and a Steel Engraving of U. S.
Grant on the Wall.

Having devoted many Days to the Annual Report of the Purity Brigade, he
was due to turn in at 9 o'clock each evening, while recuperating in the
Country.

The sanctified Product of the new and regenerative Influences at work
in every City was plunked down in the Hot-bed of Gaiety at about 4
P. M..

The Comrades of his Boyhood were massed on the Platform. As he
alighted, they sang, "Hail! Hail! the gang's All Here!" and so on and
so on.

They had acquired a Running Start. It was their belief that Elmer
would be gratified to know that all the Elect had become slightly
spiffed in his Honor.

They sent his Stuff up to the House, crowded Two-Weeks' Cards into his
Pockets, and bore him away in a Town Car to the Club, where Relays were
waiting to extend Hospitality to the returned Exile until he was
Plastered.

They seemed to think he had devoted the years of his Absence to
building up a Thirst.

Their Dismay was genuine when he timidly informed the Irrigation
Committee that he desired Vichy.

They told him he was a Celluloid Sport and that his refusal to Libate
was little short of an Affront.

Escaping from the Comanches, he hurried to the Old Homestead to sit by
the Grate Fire and tease the Cat.

He found Pa and Ma dolled up like a couple of aristocratic Equines,
much Awning over the Front Stoop, and strange Waiters hot-footing
through the Hallways.

In order to make it seem as much like the City as possible, they had
ribbed up a swell combination Gorge and Deluge, to be followed