ating Red Meat.

He knew that if he elbowed in and tried to break up the Clinch, it
would mean a Rope Ladder, a piece in the Papers, and a final
Reconciliation, with Parent playing the usual role of Goat.

He was resolved not to put in the remainder of his Days being
panhandled by a Souffle who wore Dancing Pumps in the Daytime. The
problem was to get shut of the Rodent without resorting to any Rough
Stuff.

Father had never heard tell of the Perils of Propinquity, and he
thought Psychology had something to do with Fish.

Just the same, he remembered about a Quail a day for 30 days, and he
knew that the most agreeable Perfumery would not smell right if
applied with a Garden Hose.

Likewise, he suspected that many a Quarter-Horse would blow, if put
into a two-mile Handicap.

So he blocked out a Program which proved that Solomon had nothing on
him.

Instead of grilling young Kenneth and holding him up to Contumely and
forbidding him the use of the Cozy Corner, he started in to boost the
Love Match.

Kenneth all but moved in his Trunk.

Father had a chance to weigh him, down to the last Ounce, and study the
simple Mechanism of his transparent Personality.

Father classified the would-be Child-in-Law as a Gobbie, which means a
Home-Wrecker who is still learning his Trade.

The Candidate became a regular Boarder.

Kenneth would sit right up close to old Cash-in-Hand, who would egg him
on to tell Dialect Stories and, after that, show how to make a Salad.
The Stories were some that Marshall Wilder stopped using in 1882 and
since then have been outlawed on the Kerosene Circuit.

After Bernice had heard these Almanac Wheezes 26 or 28 times, she would
sit still and look at the Center-Piece while Lover was performing.

The Gags didn't sound as killing as they had at first, and sometimes
she wished the Dear Boy would chop on them.

No chance. Father had him kidded into believing that all the old
ham-fat Riddles were simply Immense.

As for that Salad Specialty, the poor Gink who calls loudly for English
Mustard and thinks he is a Genius because he can rub a Bowl with a
sprig of Garlic, may have his brief Hour of Triumph, but no man ever
really got anywhere by doping Salad, when you stop to add it all up.

Father would put the two young people together in the back of the
Touring Car and ride them around for Hours at a time.

Anybody who has cut in on one of those animated Automobile
Conversations, while the