he clergyman asked him in the church, "Wilt thou have this woman
to be thy wedded wife?" the bridegroom answered, in a very solemn tone,
"I renounce them all." The astonished minister said, "I think you are a
fool!" to which he replied, "All this I steadfastly believe."

PERSONAL IDENTITY.

AN ill-looking fellow was asked how he could account for nature's
forming him so ugly. "Nature was not to blame," said he; "for when I was
two months old, I was considered the handsomest child in the
neighborhood, but my nurse one day _swapped_ me away for another boy
just to please a friend, whose child was rather plain looking."

IKE PARTINGTON AND PUGILISM.

MRS. PARTINGTON was much surprised to find Ike, one rainy afternoon, in
the spare room, with the rag-bag hung to the bed-post, which he was
belaboring very lustily with his fists as huge as two one cent apples.

"What gymnastiness are you doing here?" said she, as she opened the
door.

He did not stop, and merely replying, "Training," continued to pitch in.
She stood looking at him as he danced around the bag, busily punching
its rotund sides.

"That's the Morrissey touch," said he, giving one side a dig; "and
that," hitting the other side, "is the Benicia Boy."

"Stop!" she said, and he immediately stopped after he had given the last
blow for Morrissey. "I am afraid the training you are having isn't
good," said she, "and I think you had better train in some other
company. I thought your going into compound fractures in school would be
dilatorious to you. I don't know who Mr. Morrissey is, and I don't want
to, but I hear that he has been whipping the Pernicious Boy, a poor lad
with a sore leg, and I think he should be ashamed of himself." Ike had
read the "_Herald_," with all about "the great prize fight" in it, and
had become entirely carried away with it.

GEORGE SELWYN.

GEORGE SELWYN was telling at dinner-table, in the midst of a large
company, and with great glee, of the execution of Lord Lovat, which he
had witnessed. The ladies were shocked at the levity he manifested, and
one of them reproached him, saying,

"How could you be such a barbarian as to see the head of a man cut off?"

"Oh," said he, "if that was any great crime, I am sure I made amends for
it; for I went to see it sewed on again."

PROMPT REPLY.

A FOP in company, wanting his servant, called out:

"Where's that blockhead of mine?" A lady present, answered,