gular meals."

* * *

Daniel Webster was the guest at dinner of a solicitous hostess who
insisted rather annoyingly that he was eating nothing at all, that he
had no appetite, that he was not making out a meal. Finally, Webster
wearied of her hospitable chatter, and addressed her in his most
ponderous senatorial manner:

"Madam, permit me to assure you that I sometimes eat more than at other
times, but never less."

* * *

It was shortly after Thanksgiving Day that someone asked the little boy
to define the word appetite. His reply was prompt and enthusiastic:

"When you're eating you're 'appy; and when you get through you're
tight--that's appetite!"

APPRECIATION

The distinguished actor had a large photograph of Wordsworth prominently
displayed in his dressing-room. A friend regarded the picture with some
surprise, and remarked:

"I see you are an admirer of Wordsworth."

"Who's Wordsworth?" demanded the actor.

"Why, that's his picture," was the answer, as the friend pointed.
"That's Wordsworth, the poet."

The actor regarded the photograph with a new interest.

"Is that old file a poet?" he exclaimed in astonishment. "I got him for
a study in wrinkles."

ARGUMENT

"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell
over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by
the leg."

"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"

"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."

ART

An American tourist and his wife, after their return from abroad, were
telling of the wonders seen by them at the Louvre in Paris. The husband
mentioned with enthusiasm a picture which represented Adam and Eve and
the serpent in the Garden of Eden, in connection with the eating of the
forbidden fruit. The wife also waxed enthusiastic, and interjected a
remark:

"Yes, we found the picture most interesting, most interesting indeed,
because, you see, we know the anecdote."

* * *

The Yankee tourist described glowingly the statue of a beautiful woman
which he had seen in an art museum abroad.

"And the way she stood, so up and coming, was grand. But," he added,
with a tone of disgust, "those foreigners don't know how to spell. The
name of the statue was Posish'--and it was some posish, believe me! and
the dumb fools