ld really wear all the foreign orders he receives he will be papered
from head to foot, and it will be necessary for him to wear an
additional placard requesting bill-stickers to beware, to prevent them
from mistaking him for a hoarding on which bills may be exhibited.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "GENTLE SUBSCRIBER! DID YOU EVER SEE TWO STRANGE
ENGLISHMEN BREAKFASTING AT A TABLE D'HOTE ABROAD. WELL! ISN'T IT A
CHEERFUL THING?"]

* * * * *

GREAT AND LITTLE SPORTSMEN.

[Illustration: O]

Our fashionable contemporaries have been amusing their readers with the
details of how many birds have been bagged by my Lord This, or the
Honourable Captain Tother; and, as every class has a peculiar interest
attached to it, we have been at some pains to collect the results of the
sporting season among a somewhat humble order of individuals. The best
accounts assure us that the DISHONOURABLE BILL SOAMES bagged no less
than twenty pocket-handkerchiefs in a few hours, and brought down--off a
clothes' line--everything within his reach. In the juvenile sporting
circles MASTER JONES bagged twenty blue-bottles off his own pop-gun, and
young SMITH had a splendid run after a butterfly with a few young dogs
of about his own age.

* * * * *

ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS TO JARDIN DES PLANTES.

The following brief note has been forwarded by the Rhinoceros of our
Zoological Gardens to Cow, the Rhinoceros of the Jardin des Plantes:--

"DEAR COW,--The French papers say you're the first rhinoceros in Europe
since the time of the Romans. Gammon! I've been here more than these two
years. But then, as it's only London, what should Frenchmen know about
it?

Yours, from the bottom of my tank, R."

* * * * *

CHINA AND BACK--IN NO TIME!

The Chinese revolution threatens to lead to other revolutions, not only
in England, but in Europe generally. As prognosticated by the _Times_,
tourists are making quite a rush to the Celestial Empire. The CHUM-LI'S,
CHOO-HOONS, MAR-CH-BANKS, and other Belgravian mandarins have already
beat a precipitate retreat from Paris, Baden-Baden, and such
common-place places, and have arrived at their respective mansions with
a view to arrange passages to Pekin by the "tidal trains." Valets are
busy packing and directing port-mantchoos (oh!) for the scene of the
contentions of the MANTCHOO dynasty, and the