side,
And smash, in their scrimmages, all Buddha's images,
Whilst a new-fangled creed by their chiefs is propounded,
Which they call Christianity; though, when _Punch_ comes to scan it, he
Finds it is but CONFUCIUS his creed "worse confounded."
Now in hamlet or city, all quarter or pity
To their long hated rulers the natives refuse;
"Peacock's plumes" and "Red buttons" are nought but lost muttons.
Whilst impatient his badges of serfdom to lose,
Each Chinese without fail parts his head from his tail,
And henceforth minds his _toupees_ instead of his _queues_.
_Mr. Punch_--whilst applauding their courage, and lauding
Their natural wish to recover their freedom--
Still thinks that society may with propriety
Expect him a brief "screed o' doctrine" to read 'em.
So he summons their leader, and says, "You indeed err,
If you think that this triumph your labour will terminate;
When the Mantchews have vanished, there still must be banished
Many faults which for ages you've suffered to germinate.
Your own gross inhumanity, cunning, and vanity,
Which still are so great that I cannot ignore 'em,
Helped the Mantchews, who knew you right well, to subdue you,
As the Mongols and Khalkas had oft done before 'em.
You have broken your chains of to-day with small pains;
But hereafter, if courage and honesty you lack, you
Will be conquered once more--like your fathers of yore,
By the might of some yet to come KUBLAI or HULAKHU;
For the hordes of the North are still ripe to burst forth.
As oft in their tents the rude minstrel or rhymer
Tunes his harp in the praise of those glorious days,
When their sires fought bravely for GENGIS or TIMUR.
To conclude. If you'd thrive, you must earnestly strive
To rub out of men's minds the stern dictum of TENNYSON,
That 'in Europe one day beats a year in Cathay,'
And thereto _Punch_ heartily gives you his benison."

* * * * *

HINT TO RAILWAY ROGUES.

There is a certain arrangement which Railway Directors would do well to
adopt in the construction of their time-tables. It is one very generally
prevalent among that class of tradesmen whom Railway Companies, for the
most part, resemble, generally, in their manner of doing business,
considered with reference to fairness and honesty. At present, the hours
of arrival and departure are given in the tables--together with a simple
disclaimer of the obligation