isement:--

TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS.--WANTED, in a family, a respectable YOUNG
PERSON, as Seamstress and Upper Nurse, and to make herself useful.
It is expected that a comfortable home, and the opportunity of
improvement, will be considered equivalent to her services for the
first twelve months.--Address, M., 27, at the Printers'.

Were we in the habit of friendly intercourse with these nice people,
they would sometimes--often, we should hope--ask us to dinner. And what
a dinner it would be! Moreover, if we stopped to sleep, what luxurious
accommodation would be provided for us in a house where the comforts of
home are considered equivalent to the services of a Seamstress or Upper
Nurse! O the turtle! O the venison! O the superior descriptions of
French and Rhine wine! O the profundity of bliss in sinking to slumber
in an abyss of down! But O the victuals! O the dinner!--in the first
place--if dinner can be depended upon in an establishment wherein the
cook most likely gets no wages.

* * * * *

A WARNING TO VEGETARIANS.

One J. J. DAW--alias, we presume, JACK JACK-DAW--has been up at
Guildhall to profess himself a convert to the Jewish faith. "He is not
insane," says the medical authority; "but is a vegetarian." The truth
is, the cause of the poor man's conversion is simply this: he has lived
upon roots only, and they have got into his head and taking great
interest there, have become Hebrew ones.

* * * * *

THE GUILLOTINE IN CHINA.

(_From our own Correspondent._)

[Illustration: T]

The Chinese Revolution progresses in a peculiar manner. Heads are not
falling, as was the case in France, but tails are with marvellous
rapidity in this Celestial Reign of Terror, the ROBESPIERRES of which
are sending mandarins by thousands to the scaffold, to be deprived of
those appendages. The execution of one of these dignitaries took place
yesterday, in conformity with the following sentence:--

"DING DONG, Brother of the Moon, and Chief Justice to the Planets,
having sat in judgment with great patience for the greater part of an
hour upon KU LONG, accused of narrow-mindedness and villainous
detestable obstinacy, in adhering pertinaciously to obsolete usages and
fashions, considers the said charge against the prisoner fully
established, and hereby pronounces him to stand convicted of rascality,
perversity, and pig-tailed obstructiveness,