9th
November, _Punch_ does not see how the _Times_ can reconcile its first
with its second statement.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH IN CHINA.

[Illustration: S]

Since each _gobe-mouche_ is speaking of Nanking or Peking,
And as each critic, wit, or professional diner,
Explains that you can't choose but see that the Mantchews
Must soon be entirely driven from China,
And that a high price on our Pekoe and Hyson
Must be the infallible end of the clatter,
_Mr. Punch_, who's a strong _gout_ for Souchong and Congou,
Determines to go and see what is the matter,
It boots not to say _how_ he goes; for to-day
Young and old, grave and gay, so affect locomotion,
That the press every hour produces a shower,
Of "Rough Notes of a Slide on the Great Frozen Ocean,"
Or "A Midsummer's Ramble from Stamford to Stambol;"
Or "The Steppes of the Cossacks, by one who has walked in 'em;"
And I'm sure that whate'er _Mr. Punch's_ plans were,
If _these_ tourists could prosper, _he_ wouldn't be baulked in 'em.
Like the witches, perchance, he might choose to advance,
And so order his coachman to bring out his brougham;
Or ask Phoebus to lead forth that spirited steed,
Which is furnished, in turn, by each Muse, with a groom;
But, however, we'll fancy him safely in Quansi,
Or Quantong, where, taking his place 'mid the great, he,
Like any philandering son of a mandarin,
Sits enjoying his opium _cum dignitate_.
Rich and stately pagodas he finds on the road, as
He goes through the land, for the most part erected,
When the smallest house-tax on Gaul, Briton, or Saxon,
Would have stood not the least chance of being collected.
Wide canals, dykes, and sluices he sees, too, whose uses
Were applied both to traffic, to drainage, and tillage,
When a hard rain had undone both Paris and London,
To the mud they were made of restoring each village.
And they show him the pages of China's first sages,
Which were printed for sale in the towns of the Tartar;
When, with us, scarce a spark of wit gleamed in one clerk,
And DE MONTFORT "his mark" set to our Magna Charta.
They declare, too, that banking quite flourished in Nanking,
And that printed bank-notes were in vogue at the hour
When our yeomen and reeves exchanged bannocks for beeves,
And seldom bought less than a sheep'sworth of flour.
And he learns their silk factories furnished phylacteries,
Robes