youthful scions of
Belgravia are already letting their tails grow in anticipation of the
tour. To these latter, _Punch_ would whisper a caution: _they eat little
dogs in China_. "Chinese in six lessons," "Chinese without a master,"
may now be seen placarded everywhere; while our old friend DR. BOWRING
is busily engaged, and will shortly publish a Pekin guide book, with
dialogues for every possible occasion, which will enable the reader to
distinguish a Joss house from a Pagoda, and to ask for a "little more
bird's nest," in the most approved accent. Those who are prevented by
business or means from visiting this new fashionable resort, will
doubtless become familiar with the manners and customs of Pekin through
the medium of panoramas, or by becoming guests at the Feast of Lanterns
and the flow of oil, as held at the Surrey Zoological.

* * * * *

THE BEST CHRISTIAN.

MR. COBDEN would be "sorry to see this country fighting for
Mohammedanism." So should we. But in fighting against NICHOLAS of Russia
for ABDUL-MEDJID of Turkey, we opine that we should fight for
considerably the best Christian of the two. Who was the better
Samaritan? The Russian who would have betrayed the victims of Austria:
or the Turk, who at the cannon's mouth protected them?

* * * * *

FASHIONS FOR OCTOBER.--Bonnets will be worn on the small of the back.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SUBJECT FOR A CHINESE HISTORICAL PICTURE.

THE BROTHER OF THE MOON AND PARTICULAR FRIEND OF THE SUN HAVING HIS TAIL
CUT OFF BY THE REBELS.--(_All the horrible details from very scarce
Plates._)]

* * * * *

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

AN ENQUIRING MIND (Finsbury) requests that we will give him an
historical sketch of Philosophy generally, with biographies of its
principal professors, and an analysis of their corresponding or
contradicting tenets. He also wants to know what is good for corns, and
he particularly desires answers to both his requisitions this week.--On
the first point we must refer him to any Encyclopaedist, and on the
second to any Chiropodist.

BISMILLAH.--Turkey is certainly in Europe, but there is also a Turkey in
Asia. There are doubtless wild turkeys in America. But we suspect that
some one has been hoaxing you about the four Turkeys. To your second
enquiry, about "the directest way for you to become a Member of
Parliment"