not loyalty, dictates your making some complimentary remark on the
elegance of the building. If you have apples or other fruit in your
pocket, you may offer them to the younger Princes and Princesses; but we
believe there is an objection to their R. H. accepting slices of
cocoa-nut, or toffy.

WILLIAM P.--We think the young lady was quite justified in slamming the
door in your face, and in throwing the geranium pots at you from the
two-pair window; indeed, we do not see how any person calling herself a
lady could have acted otherwise.

PUZZLED.--We have so repeatedly explained that _R. S. V. P._, on a note
of invitation, means "Write and Say Vether you'll be Present," that we
are tired of answering the inquiry.

THEATRICUS (Ebury Street).--We shall be happy to read all your
thirty-four plays, and, having done so, to recommend them to such
managers as they may best suit. There will be no difficulty about money,
but we shall be happy to make any advance you may require while the
plays are in rehearsal. One hundred guineas an act is the lowest price
paid at any Metropolitan theatre.

SMACKARJEE WOPPAJEE (Calcutta).--We are much obliged. The sketch of the
Ayah running round the compound after the Adjutant (bird), and the
khansuma and the chuprassy pelting her with her own tabeejes and
banjoobunds, has been handed to one of our artists, but we fear the
nutcut will make but a queer jummakur of it. So you have got your
juwaub, eh? Never mind, there are other young ladies in India. Ask
again.

QUERY.--You are wrong. Sardanapalus is accented on the middle syllable;
Zante is a dissyllable; Chobham is pronounced Cobham; theatre is
accented on the _a_; Phaeeton is sounded fee-a-ton; and Mr. Disraeli as
Mr. De Hisreelly. Attend to these niceties if you would be supposed to
have lived in good society.

A YOUNG HOUSEKEEPER.--In September pickle garlic, parsnips, and spinach,
and pour vinegar into each of your marmalade pots, to prevent
fermentation. Smear the frames of your looking-glasses and pictures with
tar and treacle; and be careful that the pantry doors and windows are
left open at nights, as the autumn air of the garden is cold for the
cats. If you have beer in the house, drink it.

* * * * *

SAINT CABBIE!

[Illustration]

The French have their SAINT FIACRE, who must be the patron saint of
hackney coaches; why shouldn't the English calendar boast, in the like
manner, of its "SAINT