*

CHINESE HUMANITY.

The Chinese Imperial general offered to his soldiers two dollars a
head--the head duly cut off--of the enemy. Well, the enemy not
forthcoming, the gallant soldiers took off the heads of their friends.
The heads becoming cumbrous from their number, the general declared that
he would be sufficiently satisfied with the instalment of ears.
Whereupon the gallant Chinese accosted the villagers, men and women, in
Shaksperian utterance--"Lend us your ears," and they granted the loan as
security for their head.

* * * * *

Epitaph on a Plucked Man.

His Pluckings sore long time he bore,
But PALEY was in vain;
At length, disgusted, he took and "cussed" it,
And didn't try again.

* * * * *

A CLOSE CONTRIVANCE AT WINCHESTER!

[Illustration: O]

Old Winchester--as most people know, and the rest may have heard--has a
noble Cathedral. But what is the noblest Cathedral in the possession of
an ignoble clergy? A temple inhabited by owls and bats--infested with
rats and mice; stupid, crawling, disagreeable and voracious creatures.

Winchester Cathedral, however, rejoices under the guardianship of a body
of divines of whom it may fearlessly be asserted that they neither hoot
nor squeak, nor fly on any wings but those of devotion, nor offend the
external senses, nor nibble to any extent that is uncapitular.

Some Chapters--the excellent DEAN OF WINCHESTER is stricken in years,
and for the present management of the affairs of the Cathedral, renown
and honour are probably due altogether to his subordinates--, some lazy
indifferent Chapters, content themselves with keeping the glorious
buildings bequeathed to them by the great churchmen of the Middle Ages
in simple repair. This may, indeed, include ornamental restorations. But
here they stop. Averse to progress, these prebendal sloths do nothing
whatever to improve their cathedrals, by alterations and embellishments
in accordance with the feelings and wants of the age.

Sluggish indifference like this is not to be cast, in the teeth of those
high-minded and liberal clergymen, the Chapter of Winchester. We are
informed that they have lately enriched the interior of that majestic
edifice with additional features, which, whilst subservient to utility,
have, at the same time, the high aesthetical merit of embodying, or
symbolising the canonical spirit of the nineteenth century.