e Hivens, there ar-re.' If he'd wondhered an' thin believed
about clothes poles he'd've found thim too. Anny kind iv a fact is proof
iv a belief. A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in
th' ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away
fr'm doubt.

"I'll niver get anny medal f'r makin' anny man give up his belief. If I
see a fellow with a chube on his eye and hear him hollerin', 'Hooray,
I've discovered a new planet,' I'll be th' last man in th' wurruld to
brush th' fly off th' end iv th' telescope. I've known people that see
ghosts. I didn't see thim, but they did. They cud see ghosts an' I
cudden't. There wasn't annything else to it. I knew a fellow that was a
Spiritualist wanst. He was in th' chattel morgedge business on week days
an' he was a Spiritulist on Sunday. He cud understand why th' spirits
wud always pick out a stout lady with false hair or a gintleman that had
his thumb mark registhered at Polis Headquarthers to talk through, an'
he knew why spirits liked to play on banjoes an' mandolins an' why they
convarsed be rappin' on a table in th' dark. An' there was a man that
wud bite a silver dollar in two befure he'd take it f'r good."

"My aunt seen a ghost wanst," said Mr. Hennessy.

"Ivrybody's aunt has seen a ghost," said Mr. Dooley.

BOOKS

"Well, sir, if there's wan person in th' wurruld that I really invy 'tis
me frind th' ex-Prisidint iv Harvard. What a wondherful thing is youth.
Old fellows like ye'ersilf an' me make a bluff about th' advantages iv
age. But we know there's nawthin' in it. We have wisdom, but we wud
rather have hair. We have expeeryence, but we wud thrade all iv its
lessons f'r hope an' teeth.

"It makes me cross to see mesilf settin' here takin' a post grajate
coorse in our cillybrated univarsity iv th' Wicked Wur-ruld an' watchin'
th' freshmen comin' in. How happy they are, but how seeryous. How sure
they are iv ivrything. Us old fellows are sure iv nawthin'; we laugh but
we are not cheerful; we have no romance about th' colledge. Ye don't
hear us givin' nine long cheers f'r our almy matther. We ain't even
thankful f'r th' lessons it teaches us or th' wallops it hands us whin
we f'rget what we've been taught. We're a sad lot iv old la-ads, hatin'
th' school, but hatin' th' grajation exercises aven more.

"But 'tis a rale pleasure to see th' bright faced freshmen comin' in an'
I welcome th' last young fellow fr'm Harvard to our vin'r