to encounters with
races that we properly considher infeeryor,' he says. Th' dillygate fr'm
Sinagambya rose to a question iv privilege. 'State ye'er question iv
privilege,' says th' chairman. 'I wud like to have th' windows open,'
says th' dillygate fr'm Sinagambya. 'I feel faint,' he says.

"Th' Honorable Joe Choate, dillygate fr'm th' United States, moved that
in future wars enlisted men shud not wear ear-rings. Carried, on'y Italy
votin' no.

"Th' conference thin discussed blowin' up th' inimy with dinnymite,
poisinin' him, shootin' th' wounded, settin' fire to infants, bilin'
prisoners-iv-war in hot lard, an' robbin' graves. Some excitemint was
created durin' th' talk be th' dillygate fr'm th' cannybal islands who
proposed that prisoners-iv-war be eaten. Th' German dillygate thought
that this was carryin' a specyal gift iv wan power too far. It wud give
th' cannybal islands a distinct advantage in case iv war, as Europeen
sojers were accustomed to horses. Th' English dillygate said that while
much cud be said against a practice which personally seemed to him
rather unsportsmanlike, still he felt he must reserve th' right iv anny
cannybal allies iv Brittanya to go as far as they liked. Th'
Hon'orable Joe Choate moved that in future wars no military band shud be
considered complete without a base-dhrum. Carrid.

"Th' entire South American dillygation said that no nation ought to go
to war because another nation wanted to put a bill on th' slate. Th'
English dillygate was much incensed. 'Why, gintlemen', says he, 'if ye
deprived us iv th' right to collect debts be killin' th' debtor ye wud
take away fr'm war its entire moral purpose. I must ask ye again to
cease thinkin' on this subjick in a gross mateeryal way an' considher
th' moral side alone,' he says. Th' conference was much moved be this
pathetic speech, th' dillygate fr'm France wept softly into his
hankerchef, an' th' dillygate fr'm Germany wint over an' forcibly took
an open-face goold watch fr'm th' dillygate fr'm Vinzwala.

"Th' Hon'rable Joe Choate moved that in all future wars horses shud be
fed with hay wheriver possible. Carrid. A long informal talk on th'
reinthroduction iv scalpin' followed. At last th' dillygate fr'm Chiny
arose an' says he: 'I'd like to know what war is. What is war annyhow?'
'Th' Lord knows, we don't,' says th' chairman. 'We're all profissors iv
colledges or lawyers whin we're home,' he says. 'Is it war to shoot my
aunt?' says t