his bold upcurved nose. Th' first thing ye know ye'll be what
Hogan calls Casey's Bellows, an' manny a peaceful village in Indyanny'll
be desthroyed f'r ye'er folly. Why, be Hivens, it won't be long till
we'll have to be threatin' th' Chinese dacint. Think iv that will ye. I
r-read in th' pa-aper th' other day that th' Chinese ar-rmy had been
reorganized an' rearmed. Hincefoorth, instead iv th' old fashioned
petticoats they will wear th' more war-like short skirt. Th' palm leafs
have been cast aside f'r modhren quick-firin' fans, an' a complete new
assortment iv gongs, bows an' arrows, stink-pots, an' charms against th'
evil eye has been ordhered fr'm a well-known German firm. Be careful th'
next time ye think iv kickin' an empty ash-barl down yefer frind Lip
Hung's laundhry.

"It's hard f'r me to think iv th' Japs this way. But 'tis th' part iv
prudence. A few years ago I didn't think anny more about a Jap thin
abont anny other man that'd been kept in th' oven too long. They were
all alike to me. But to-day, whiniver I see wan I turn pale an' take off
me hat an' make a low bow. A few years ago an' I'd bet I was good f'r a
dozen iv thim. But I didn't know how tur-rible a people they are. Their
ships are th' best in th' wurruld. We think we've got good ships. Th'
Lord knows I'm told they cost us enough, though I don't remimber iver
payin' a cent f'r wan. But a Jap'nese rowboat cud knock to pieces th'
whole Atlantic squadron. It cud so. They're marvellous sailors. They
use guns that shoot around th' corner. They fire these here injines iv
desthruction with a mysteeryous powdher made iv a substance on'y known
to thim. It is called saltpether. These guns hurl projyctiles weighin'
eighty tons two thousand miles. On land they ar-re even more tur-rible.
A Jap'nese sojer can march three hundhred miles a day an' subsist on a
small piece iv chewin' gum. Their ar-rmy have arrived at such a
perfection at th' diffycult manoover known as th' goose step that they
have made this awful insthrument iv carnage th' terror iv th' armies iv
Europe. As cav'lrymen they ar-re unexcelled. There is on'y wan horse in
Japan, but ivry Japanese sojer has larned to ride him. To see wan iv
their magnificent cav'lry rijments goin' into action mounted on Joko is
a sight long to be raymimbered. Above all, th' Jap'nese is most to be
feared because iv his love iv home an' his almost akel love iv death. He
is so happy in Japan that we wud rather die somewhere