bein' rich. I'm afraid
iv it. In th' good old days th' polis coorts were crowded with th'
poor. They weren't charged with poverty, iv coorse, but with the results
iv poverty, d'ye mind. Now, be Hivens, th' rich have invaded even th'
coorts an' the bridewell. Manny a face wearin' side whiskers an' gold
rimmed specs peers fr'm th' windows iv th' black Maria. 'What's this man
charged with?' says th' coort. 'He was found in possession iv tin
millyon dollars,' says th' polisman. An' th' judge puts on th' black
cap."

"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, "'tis time they got what was comin' to thim."

"I'll not say ye're wrong," said Mr. Dooley. "I see th' way me frind
Jawn D. feels about it. He thinks he's doin' a great sarvice to th'
worruld collectin' all th' money in sight. It might remain in
incompetint hands if he didn't get it. 'Twud be a shame to lave it where
it'd be misthreated. But th' on'y throuble with Jawn is that he don't
see how th' other fellow feels about it. As a father iv about thirty
dollars I want to bring thim up mesilf in me own foolish way. I may not
do what's right be thim. I may be too indulgent with thim. Their home
life may not be happy. Perhaps 'tis clear that if they wint to th'
Rockyfellar institution f'r th' care iv money they'd be in betther
surroundings, but whin Jawn thries to carry thim off I raise a cry iv
'Polis,' a mob iv people that niver had a dollar iv their own an' niver
will have wan, pounce on th' misguided man, th' polis pinch him, an' th'
governmint condemns th' institution an' lets out th' inmates an' a good
manny iv thim go to th'bad."

"D'ye think he'll iver sarve out his fine?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"I don't know," said Mr. Dooley. "But if he does, whin he comes out
at the end iv a hundhred an fifty-eight thousand years he'll find a
great manny changes in men's hats an' th' means iv transportation but
not much in annything else. He may find flyin' machines, though it'll be
arly f'r thim, but he'll see a good manny people still walkin' to their
wurruk."

EXPERT TESTIMONY

"What's an expert witness?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"An expert witness," said Mr. Dooley, "is a doctor that thinks a man
must be crazy to be rich. That's thrue iv most iv us, but these doctors
don't mean it th' way I do. Their theery is that annything th' rich do
that ye want to do an' don't do is looney. As between two men with
money, th' wan with most money is craziest. If ye want a diploma f'r
sanity, H