before him, and using several times, the
expression, "my unfortunate client," Lord Ellenborough suddenly
interrupted him: "There, sir, the court is with you."

EVIDENCE.

THE following is the next best thing to the evidence concerning the
stone "_as big as a piece of chalk_." "Were you traveling on the night
this affair took place?" "I should say I was, Sir." "What kind of
weather was it? Was it raining at the time?" "It was so dark that I
could not see it raining; but I felt it dropping, though." "How dark was
it?" "I had no way of telling; but it was not light, by a jug full."
"Can't you compare it to something?" "Why, if I was going to compare it
to anything, I should say it was about as dark as a stack of black
cats."

AN UP AND DOWN REPLY.

DURING the examination of a witness, as to the locality of stairs in a
house, the counsel asked him, "Which way the stairs ran?" The witness,
who, by the way, was a noted wag, replied, that "One way they ran up
stairs, but the other way they ran down stairs." The learned counsel
winked both eyes and then took a look at the ceiling.

SNORING.

A WESTERN statesman, in one of his tours in the Far West, stopped all
night at a house, where he was put in the same room with a number of
strangers. He was very much annoyed by the snoring of two persons. The
black boy of the hotel entered the room, when our narrator said to him:

"Ben, I will give you five dollars if you will kill that man next to me
who snores so dreadfully."

"Can't kill him for five dollars, but if massa will advance on the
price, I'll try what I can do."

By this time the stranger had ceased his nasal fury. The other was now
to be quieted. So stepping to him he woke him, and said:

"My friend, [he knew who he was,] you're talking in your sleep, and
exposing all the secrets of the Brandon Bank, [he was a director,] you
had better be careful."

He was careful, for he did not go to sleep that night.

TANNING.

"DADDY," said a hopeful urchin to his parental relative, "why don't our
schoolmaster send the editor of the newspaper an account of all the
lickings he gives to the boys?"

"I don't know, my son," replied the parent, "but why do you ask me such
a question?"

"Why, this paper says that Mr. B. has tanned three thousand hides at his
establishment during the past year, and I know that old Grimes has
tanned our hides more'n twice that many times--the editor ought to kn