o suggest, for your
approval, that the raising of the right elbow, such as is practised by
coachmen, gentle and simple, should be adopted by all cyclists. I think
that I could manage the movement.

Yours in social despair,

AMELIUS AMBERGRIS
_Bayswater._

* * * * *

Illustration: _Cow-boy_ (_to young lady who has taken refuge_). "Would
you mind openin' the gate, miss? They're a-comin' in there."

* * * * *

An admirable improvement in motor-cars is about to be introduced by one
of our leading firms. Cars are frequently overturned, and the occupants
buried underneath. In future, on the bottom of every car made by the
firm in question there will be engraved the words, "Here lies----,"
followed by a blank space, which can be filled up by the purchaser.

* * * * *

_He._ "Do you belong to the Psychical Society?"

_She._ "No; but I sometimes go out on my brother's machine!"

* * * * *

Illustration: WHEEL AND WOE.--A Brooklyn inventor has patented a
cycle-hearse.

* * * * *

Illustration: UNLICENSED PEDALLERS.--Cyclists.

* * * * *

TO MARIE, RIDING MY BICYCLE

Brake, brake, brake
On my brand-new tyre, Marie!
And I would that my tongue could utter
The thoughts that arise in me.

O well for the fishmonger's boy
That his tricycle's mean and squalid;
O well for the butcher lad
That the tyres of his wheel are solid!

And the reckless scorchers scorch
With hanging purple heads,
But O for the tube that is busted up
And the tyre that is cut to shreds.

Brake, brake, brake--
Thou hast broken indeed, Marie,
And the rounded form of my new Dunlop
Will never come back to me.

* * * * *

A SUGGESTION IN NOMENCLATURE.--The old name of "Turnpike Roads" has,
long ago, with the almost universal disappearance of the ancient
turnpikes, become obsolete. Nowadays, bicycles being "always with us,"
why not for "Turnpike Roads" substitute "Turn-bike roads"? This ought to
suit the "B. B. P.," or "Bicycling British Public."

* * * * *

Illustration:

"Oh, did you see a gentleman on a bicycle as you came up?"

"No; but I saw a man sitting at the bottom of the hill mending an old
umbrella!"

* * *