headed, "Maxims for Motorists."
Retaliation in kind is natural, and a maxim is an excellent retort to a
canon. But why abuse the canon first?

* * * * *

So many accidents have occurred lately through the ignition of petrol
that a wealthy motorist, we hear, is making arrangements for his car to
be followed, wherever it may go, by a fully-equipped fire-engine, and,
if this example be followed widely, our roads will become more
interesting than ever.

* * * * *

Are there motor-cars in the celestial regions? Professor Schaer, of
Geneva, has discovered what _he_ describes as a new comet plunging due
south at a rate of almost 8 degrees a day, and careering across the
Milky Way regardless of all other traffic.

* * * * *

Illustration: OUR ELECTION--POLLING DAY

_Energetic Committeeman._ "It's all right. Drive on! He's voted!"

* * * * *

THE MOTOCRAT

I am he: goggled and unashamed. Furred also am I, stop-watched and
horse-powerful. Millions admit my sway--on both sides of the road. The
Plutocrat has money: I have motors. The Democrat has the rates; so have
I--two--one for use and one for County Courts. The Autocrat is dead, but
I--I increase and multiply. I have taken his place.

I blow my horn and the people scatter. I stand still and everything
trembles. I move and kill dogs. I skid and chickens die. I pass swiftly
from place to place, and horses bolt in dust storms which cover the
land. I make the dust storms. For I am Omnipotent; I make everything. I
make dust, I make smell, I make noise. And I go forward, ever forward,
and pass through or over almost everything. "Over or Through" is my
motto.

The roads were made for me; years ago they were made. Wise rulers saw me
coming and made roads. Now that I am come, they go on making
roads--making them up. For I break things. Roads I break and Rules of
the Road. Statutory limits were made for me. I break them. I break the
dull silence of the country. Sometimes I break down, and thousands flock
round me, so that I dislocate the traffic. But I _am_ the Traffic.

I am I and She is She--the rest get out of the way. Truly, the hand
which rules the motor rocks the world.

* * * * *

MOTOR CAR-ACTERISTICS

(_By an Old Whip_)

Jerking and jolting,
Bursting and bolting,
Smelling and steaming,
Shrieki