t
have been a serious accident.

* * * * *

A well-known motorist has been complaining of the campaign waged against
motor-cars by humorous artists, who never seem to tire of depicting
accidents. "One common and ludicrous error in many drawings," he said,
"is the placing of the driver on the wrong side of the car." But surely,
in an accident, that is just where he would find himself.

* * * * *

_Sympathetic Lady._ "I hope you had a good holiday, Miss Smith."

_Overworked Dressmaker._ "Oh yes, my lady. I took my machine with me,
you know!"

_S. L._ "What a pity; you should give up needle and thread when you're
out for a----"

_O. D._ "Oh, I don't mean my sewing machine! I refer to my bicycle!"

* * * * *

Illustration:

SCENE--_A remote district in the Wolds._

_Driver of Motor-car_ (_who has just pulled up in response to urgent
summons from countrywoman_). "Well, what's the matter? What is it?"

_Countrywoman._ "Hi, man, look! You've been an' left yer 'oss on the
'ill!"

* * * * *

THE CYCLING GOVERNESS

I no longer teach my classes
Their Shakespeare and the glasses,
And the uses of the globes, as was my custom;
But all they'll learn from me
Is to ride the iron gee--
All other lessons utterly disgust 'em!

The girls no more will meddle
With the painful piano-pedal,
They'll only touch the pedal of their "Humber";
Like their grannies, they begin
At an early age to "spin,"
But the road it is their spinning-wheels encumber.

So wheeling now my trade is,
And finishing young ladies
In the proper kind of bicycling deportment;
_I_'m nearly finished, too,
And battered black and blue,
For of falls I've had a pretty large assortment!

* * * * *

WOE ON THE WHEEL.

There was a "scorching" girl, who came down an awful purl,
And scarified her nose, and scarred her forehead.
She thought, when first she rode, biking very, _very_ good,
But now she considers it horrid!

* * * * *

Illustration: _Winny_ (_one mile an hour_) _to Annie_ (_two miles an
hour_). "Scorcher!"

* * * * *

THE FAVOURITE OF THE MOTOR-CARS.--_Pet_roleum.

* * * * *

In England, says a French writer, motoring