o-and-so drove with her tapir,
And daughter (the tapir's) to-day.
Mrs. Thingummy too and her sister
Drove out for an hour and a half,
And beside them (the image of Mr.)
A dear--wee--pink--pet--calf!"

* * * * *

Illustration:

"Did you get his number?"

"No; but I saw exactly what she was wearing and how much she paid for
the things!"

* * * * *

THE MOTORS' DEFENCE UNION

A Pedestrians' Protection League is being formed to uphold the rights of
foot-passengers on the highways. As no bane is without its antidote, an
opposition union is to be organised, having in view the adoption of the
following regulations:--

1. Every pedestrian must carry on his front and back a large and
conspicuous number as a means of easy and rapid identification.

2. No foot passenger shall quit the side-walk, except at certain
authorised crossings. In country lanes and places where there is no
side-walk the ditch shall be considered equivalent to the same.

3. Each foot-passenger about to make use of such authorised
crossings shall thrice sound a danger-signal on a hooter, fog-horn
or megaphone; and, after due warning has thus been given, shall
traverse the road at a speed of not less than twelve miles an hour.
The penalty for infringement to be forty shillings or one month.

4. Any pedestrian obstructing a motor by being run over, causing a
motor to slow down or stop, or otherwise deranging the traffic,
shall be summarily dealt with: the punishment for this offence to be
five years' penal servitude, dating from arrest or release from
hospital, as the case may be.

5. Should the pedestrian thus trespassing on the highway lose his
life in an encounter with a motor-car, he shall not be liable to
penal servitude; compensation for shock and loss of time, however,
shall be paid from his estate to the driver of the car, such amount
being taxed by the coroner.

6. All cattle, sheep, pigs, swine, hares, rabbits, conies, and other
ground game, and every goose, duck, fowl, or any animal whatsoever
with which the motor shall collide shall, _ipso facto_, be
confiscated to the owner of the motor.

7. Any comment, remark, reflection, sneer or innuendo concerning the
shape, speed, appearance, noise, smell, or other attribute of a
motor-car, or of its occupa