stume, and, like
yourself, have adopted it. Now do not laugh at me. But, between
ourselves, I have never been on a bicycle in my life!

_Second Y. G._ No more have I! [_Curtain._

* * * * *

Illustration: "ENOUGH IS AS GOOD AS A FEAST."--_Nervous Lady Cyclist._
"I hope it isn't very deep here."

_Ferryman._ "Sax hunderd an' fefty-nine feet, Miss."

* * * * *

The provincial journal which, the other day, published the following
paragraph:--"Private letters from Madagascar state that two cyclists
have visited the island, causing the loss of 200 lives and immense
damage to property," and followed it up with a leader virulently
attacking motor-cyclists, now informs us that the word should have been
"cyclones." The printer has been warned.

* * * * *

"Anti-Motor" writes to point out that one advantage of holding motor
races like those that have just taken place in Ireland is that after
each race there are fewer motors.

* * * * *

THE TRAIL OF THE MOTOR.--"COLLECTOR.

Young man wants collecting."--_Advt. in Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

Illustration: _Old Farmer Jones_ (_who has been to a local cattle-show,
and seen a horseless carriage for the first time_). "Mosher carsh may be
all very well--(_hic!_)--but they can't find 'er way home by
'emshelves!"

* * * * *

SHOULD MOTORISTS WEAR MASKS?

["Plus de lunettes speciales pour MM. les chauffeurs. Ils devront
conduire comme les cochers ordinaires a yeux nus ou avec les
lunettes ordinaires de myopes ou de presbytes. Nos sportsmen
declarent que ces lunettes de motoristes favorisent l'anonymat. Ces
lunettes sont de veritables masques. On fait sous ce masque ce qu'on
n'oserait pas faire a visage decouvert. En France il est defendu de
se masquer en dehors du temps de carnaval ... si le masque tombe, la
vitesse des motors deviendra fatalement normale."--_M. N. de Noduwez
in the "Times."_]

MR. PUNCH has collected a few brief opinions upon the subject of the
above-quoted letter.

MR. KIPLING writes: "Through dirt, sweat, burns, bursts, smells, bumps,
breakdowns, and explosions I have attained to the perfect joy of the
scorcher. I have suffered much on the southern British highways. My
Tibetan devil-mask shall therefore add to their terrors.