haracter or they lose ground.
The mere possession of ambition is not evidence of the desire to grow up
emotionally. One has to probe the ideals of the other person. The
question is, "Does he or she have the character-vitality to develop
emotional maturity?" If this is lacking, successful marriage is seldom
achieved, and for one who has gained this trait to be tied to a spouse
who cannot attain it is tragic for the well-matured person.

_6. Will he, or she, put father or mother ahead of wife or husband? Look
out for apron strings._

There is something that the psychiatrist warns us about that we cannot
wisely forget in our courtships. We must free ourselves from
entanglements in our emotional make-up that may have had their beginning
in childhood, and we must especially avoid marrying anyone who has such
liabilities and makes no effort to be rid of them. An example is father
fixation or mother fixation. We all know from experience persons who
cannot grow up from their childhood dependency, and they make very
trying husbands or wives. They are easily spotted if one is only keen in
noticing what takes place, because they are constantly showing their
childishness, and we can be sure that they will continue both to reveal
and to nurse their weakness throughout life in such a way as to be
discouraging and irritating in marriage and parenthood relationships.

_7. Can he, or she, "take it"? You know what they call it in the army._

Although there are many virtues that one would like to find in any
candidate for matrimony, there is one that we must look for seriously;
if it is absent, turn away from an alliance that is almost certain to
fail. That is pluck. Marriage, like life itself, puts upon persons
demands that can be met only by courage. The fair-weather type of person
is certain to be disappointing in the critical, character-revealing
experiences that are bound to arise in marriage and in parenthood. It is
difficult not to grow bitter if one finds himself or herself married to
a mate who does not have the pluck to meet the disappointments, the
hardships, the testing of ideals, that must appear in every husband-wife
relationship.

* * * * *

It would be much easier for young people, we often think, if courtship
did not make its start at the same time that the young man or woman is
feeling in full force the body changes, the nervous readjustments, and
the impulses to escape childhood depe