ouple face announcements and
explanations and recriminations just at a time when serenity and freedom
from emotional strain are desirable, particularly for the bride. Secrecy
usually means hypocrisy; often it means deceit. Figures show that secret
marriages often produce marital unhappiness and an abnormal number of
divorces.

The wedding date is chosen by the bride; the honeymoon arrangements are
the responsibility of the groom. A wedding is fatiguing, particularly to
the girl; the thoughtful man will not plan a long train or motor trip or
tiring sightseeing or visits to new relatives; new in-laws can be
visited more wisely at a later time. These days should be a period of
intimate companionship; a summer camp, perhaps lent by a friend, is
ideal. Here, surrounded by nature and not mankind, relaxed honeymooners
will find the rest and privacy which should be theirs.

Where to live after the wedding? Obviously where the husband's job is.
No need to wait until his chance in the big city comes; the small town
is a better place to begin marriage. Friendships come easier, life is
simpler and usually cheaper. The divorce rate is much higher in the
cities than in small towns or rural regions. Fortunate that couple who
start their married life in a town small enough so that neighbors are
interested and helpful. The city apartment house is the most impersonal
form of dwelling mankind has devised. If the first home does not have
all the modern improvements, it is no great tragedy. More marriages are
wrecked by too much free time than by too many home tasks to perform.
Our grandparents married in the days of covered wagons and sodhouses and
drought; a dash of their spirit is a good ingredient in a modern
marriage.

* * * * *

Above all else, the engaged couple should plan to have a home of their
own, even if it is only two rooms. If economic considerations make them
consider moving in with the in-laws, let some one warn them that the
adjustment of two personalities which marriage involves demands some
privacy beyond that of a bedroom. Parents, no matter how loving and
wise, help the newly married most when they do not live under the same
roof with them. Loving interference, irritation, nervous tension,
usually go with "living with the folks."

If they have to live with the older folks, the young people should
arrange to have two or three rooms of their own, with their own
privacies, where they c