the ideals and habits that determine whether our lives shall
be a mere flash in the pan or a fire that warms and cheers. The finer
things of life wither and die if there are not enough children in the
families of people who know how to make real _homes_. If you came from
such a home, and especially if your relatives also have such homes, you
can make one yourself. Few things are more needed in America today than
just such homes.

Ought I to marry? I wish that every reader could answer in the
affirmative.

_Eleanor Roosevelt_

CHAPTER FOUR

_Should Wives Work?_

Is it possible for a woman to marry and still have a career? This
question has been asked of me so many times that I am glad at last to
sit down and write some of the things which always come to my mind.

To begin with, the question is foolishly worded, for there are very few
women who have careers. Those with real careers are a little group by
themselves needing separate consideration. Most women marry and work,
and the work will not be a "career." The question put this way also
seems to imply that marriage in itself is not a career. Anyone who
believes that has no real understanding of marriage.

There is no general answer which any one individual can give to this
question, no matter how it is worded, for it is one of those questions
that depends for its answer largely upon the individuals involved, both
men and women.

The question should really be phrased in this way: Are you able to
carry on two full-time jobs? Have you the physical strength and the
mental vigor to do this day in and day out--particularly when you are
young, first married, adjusting yourself to a stranger's personality,
and perhaps bearing children, which is an added physical strain?

I can hear you ask, "Why do you say, 'adjusting yourself to a stranger's
personality'?" The answer is quite simple: no two people really know
each other until they have been married for some time, and one of the
most exacting duties of family life is the adjustment of the various
personalities that make up the family circle. The mother adjusts herself
not only to her husband, but to each of her children and to the other
near relatives, and she tries to explain and to adjust them to one
another. It is not always an easy task.

More and more households are being managed by the housewife alone,
particularly among the young people. That means pretty nearly constant
attention to household tasks