ages succeed if each partner has had an
earlier love affair. It is, say the experts, an asset to have had boy or
girl friends with whom you thought for a time you were in love. Of
course all of us know completely happy marriages of boy and girl
sweethearts; most of us also know unhappy couples who first became
engaged during their teens, one of whom has entirely outgrown the other,
with mismating as a result.

Such mismating is not at first apparent--may not be for several years.
The man usually, by the nature of his occupation, meets more people than
does the woman. He finds himself in more varied and interesting
situations, and may become a more colorful, a bigger person than his
wife. Occasionally the converse may be true. At any rate, it is a tragic
thing when either husband or wife so far outgrows the other that they
have no common interest, no mutual pleasures.

The engagement period is the time to prove the quality of love. Are
you--the girl--capable of growth? Can you, harassed by household tasks,
keep up with your husband as he develops in the world of men? Are
you--the man--so congenial with this girl whom you wish to marry that
you will want to share your experiences with her, in situations very
different from those of courtship and engagement days?

The engagement period itself is not altogether an easy time. Wise young
people can make it one of fuller acquaintance and of growth in
thoughtfulness and courtesy. On the other hand, most engaged couples
will discover small faults in each other, even when they are deeply in
love. Details that had been invisible before may now loom large.
Carelessness in personal habits, manners, speech, and attitude may
become irritants that jeopardize romance. A trait that may have been a
source of amusement before now becomes irritating and exasperating. If
the trait is a fundamental one, marriage should be even more
searchingly questioned, although the wedding date may be only a few
weeks off. Much has been written about the girl who marries a man to
reform him; if the reformation is not completed during the engagement,
the chances of success after marriage are small.

Yes, this new intimacy of the engagement period may indeed be trying.
Tact is required to avoid fault-finding, nagging, and jealousy. A few
"lovers' quarrels" do not matter--they give flavor to a romance--but
scolding and criticism do. Romance dies when thoughtless quarreling
enters. An engaged man should be