tly as it took place:

"Well--yes and no. I believe in the principle, properly worked, in a
country ripe for it; but here in Australia, my dear sir, we do not know
what federal government means. I have travelled round and round the
world--ha! ha! not in a hurry, my dear sir, but with the object of
seeing and learning all about the political workings of countries as
well as other subjects. I travel so much sometimes that on waking in the
morning I have to rub my eyes to think for a moment whether I am in St.
Petersburg or Ottawa, San Francisco or London. I travel so much, one
country and another to me is like walking out of this room into the
next. I am, in this respect, an exception. This place is provincial, the
minds of the people are essentially provincial, they do not understand
big questions--Federation is a very big question. Now, sir, I am shown a
new machine that you have at home for cutting your hair--good, it is
scientific, a thing of beauty and tremendously costly. I say, 'Yes,
that's all very well, but I cannot see how Mr. Furniss can afford
such a machine for cutting his hair.' Then everyone cries: 'Oh, he
does not believe hair should be cut!' Why, I say nothing of the
sort--hair-cutting is an excellent thing, a necessary thing perhaps, but
why have in a small establishment tremendous machinery to do it?"

At that moment I caught sight of my head in a glass; the same thought
struck me, why indeed?

"That is Federation here," my interesting acquaintance continued. "Here,
in this little bit of a community, not the population of one
city--London--spread over the whole of it want five separate governments
to govern those few millions cut up into States!"

From all I could gather, Federation in Australia might possibly be
realised some day, but it would be in the dim and distant future,
certainly not "in our time"!

There is a good story told _a propos_ of the candidature of "The
Cardinal." Of course, the votes recorded for him were solely Catholic,
the Irish turning up in great force. Two gentlemen from Erin were found
fighting a deadly battle. When separated and the battle changed for one
of words in place of blows, Mike declared that he'd "livil the baste to
the ground for not voting for the Cardinal."

"And who has he voted for?"

"Whoi the blackguard tills me he's voted for Patrick Francis Moran--who
ever heard of Patrick Francis Moran?"

"Oive voted for the Cardinal--iv course Oi have," replied th