So the party did not go. It so
happened that in the particular entertainment I was giving--"America in
a Hurry"--I imitate a lisping country parson struggling through a
wretched entertainment with a lantern!

The most trying, at the same time most interesting, experience I had was
in my first tour with my "Humours of Parliament," when I appeared at
Lewes. The ex-Speaker of the House of Commons, Viscount Hampden, was in
my audience, and it was interesting to watch him as I gave my imitations
of him, calling an unruly Member to order.

It was all but arranged for me to give my "Humours of Parliament"
before her late Majesty at Balmoral. I got as far as Aberdeen, but a
death in the Royal Family put a stop to all entertainments.

SOME UNREHEARSED EFFECTS.

The dress suit and the regulation white tie are essential to those who
appear in public upon the platform. Mr. Frederick Villiers, the popular
war correspondent, is an exception to this rule. He appears in his
campaigning attire, with his white helmet on and a water-bottle slung
round him; but of course it would be somewhat incongruous for a man in
evening dress, that emblem of civilisation and peace, more suggestive of
the drawing-room than the battle-field, to dilate upon the platform on
the horrors of campaigning, and to take you through the stirring scenes
of "War on a White Sheet." It would be equally absurd for a lecturer on,
say, "The Life and Habits of a Microbe," to be dressed in the garb of a
backwoodsman; but I was once obliged to deliver a lecture on "Art" in a
rough tweed suit.

It so happened that I was giving a series of lectures in the vicinity of
Birmingham, and I was stopping with a friend of mine, the Director of
the Art Gallery and Museum there. He suggested my leaving my Gladstone
bag, containing my change of clothes, in his office, while I spent my
day rummaging about old book shops for first editions and making calls
on various friends. My host having had to go to London that day, I was
left to my own devices, and it was about five o'clock in the evening
when I went to the Museum for my belongings. To my horror I saw a notice
up: "Museum closed at three o'clock on Wednesdays," and this was
Wednesday! I rang and knocked, and knocked and rang, but all in vain. I
crossed over to some other municipal buildings to see if there was
anyone there who could help me out of my dilemma, but my spirits went
down to zero when I was there informed that the