ng and
appreciated address, illustrated by the limelight, on the subject of
"Quartz Fibres." If I remember rightly, he was explaining to the
audience that the strands of a spider's web were purposely rough so that
the spider could climb them easily, but that a quartz fibre was smooth
and glassy, and a spider would never attempt to ascend one. He showed on
the sheet a single thread of a spider's web and a single quartz fibre,
and amid the breathless excitement of the audience a real live spider
was put into the lantern. The applause with which it was greeted must
have made the poor thing nervous, I suppose, or else it may have had an
attack of stage fright; anyhow, it curled itself up in a corner and
refused to budge. A sharpened pencil, which magnified on the screen
looked like a battering-ram, was brought into play, and the unfortunate
creature had to rouse itself. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, you will
notice that it is quite impossible for the spider to ascend the quartz
fibre--it may try, but it is bound to fail--but see how it will rush to
the strand from its familiar web!" The spider received an extra dig with
the pencil, and then with astonishing alacrity ran to the quartz fibre,
up which it climbed with the greatest ease amid the roars of the
delighted audience. The fact was that the Professor had omitted to
explain that his argument only applied to female spiders. These have a
pernicious habit of running after their spouses and belabouring them, so
the poor hubby is provided by Nature with a hirsute growth on his legs
which enables him to escape by climbing, and nothing would delight him
more than for his wife to give chase to him if there was a quartz fibre
anywhere near.

Sometimes there is no gallery in which to place the lantern, and then
the pictures have to be shown from the floor of the hall, when it seems
to be the delight of everyone coming in late to walk up the centre in
the full light of the powerful rays of the lantern, presumably for the
pleasure of beholding their image projected in silhouette on to the
screen. Those awful feminine hats ought to be abolished, and all late
comers ought to be made to find their seats on their hands and knees, as
they run the risk of upsetting the thread of the lecturer's discourse,
and the gravity of the audience as well, I remember once when I was
giving my lecture on "Portraiture: Past and Present," and illustrating
the portraits on medals, I came to some near the