account of
my effort on the platform the night before, and my impromptu story was
in it!

Of course, as in everything else, one must not be too original on the
platform if he is to be served up in every course. If you treat general
subjects in anything but a general way, and you are humorous and
occasionally satirical, you will find that national failing, want of
humour, will tell against you, as well as certain prejudices political
and social. The selection of lecturers is generally in the hands of a
committee. You have probably said something that grated upon the Radical
opinions of one member, or upon the old Tory prejudices of another, or
told some joke that they failed to see. So long as you keep to microbes,
and heavenly bodies, and objects of the sea, you are proportionately
successful with your dulness. But to be professionally humorous and a
critic is to be eyed with suspicion. Your programme is criticised and
generally misunderstood. Perhaps I can show no better instance of this
than what occurred to me in connection with my old friend "Lewis
Carroll," the author of "Alice in Wonderland."

The Rev. C. L. Dodgson ("Lewis Carroll") in some respects was the
typical Oxford Don--once a schoolmaster always a schoolmaster. He
lectured his friends as he had lectured his youths, and treated grown-up
men of the world as if they were children. In due course I visited
Oxford to give my entertainments--"Humours of Parliament" first;
"America in a Hurry" followed a few years afterwards. In the latter I
gave a wordless imitation of that eccentric American, Talmage, at the
same time carefully pointing out to my audience that I imitated his
gestures and voice--not Talmage in the character of a preacher, but as a
showman; I was therefore surprised to receive the following letter:

"CHRISTCHURCH, OXFORD.

"DEAR MR. FURNISS,--Yesterday I went to Russell's shop and bought
four 5_s._ tickets for your American entertainment on the 23rd,
thinking I would treat three young friends to it, and feeling quite
confident that there could be no objectionable feature in any
entertainment produced by you. An hour afterwards I chanced to
notice in the programme the item 'A Sermon in Spasms,' and, in the
quotations from Press notices, a commendation of your 'clever
imitations of Dr. Talmage's sermons,' and immediately went and
returned the tickets.... It did not seem necessary to speak (to th