Brewers, with a Bass for leader, exhibits
some novelties in harmony. The Bass rises instead of descending in the
scale of price, and by thus increasing in height, will, strange to say,
reach up to Double Bass. One more step will raise it to Treble Bass; but
that will be a contradiction in terms, and absolutely ridiculous.

* * * * *

A Soporific.--Why is the practice of praising children like
opium?--Because it's Laudanum.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE BEARD AND MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.

_Railway Guard._ "NOW, MA'AM, IS THIS YOUR LUGGAGE?"

_Old Lady (who concludes she is attacked by Brigands)._ "OH YES!
GENTLEMEN, IT'S MINE. TAKE IT--TAKE ALL I HAVE; BUT SPARE, OH SPARE OUR
LIVES!!"]

* * * * *

DR. CANTWELL'S INCOME-TAX MADE EASY.

DR. CANTWELL--by appointment of the POPE, LORD BISHOP OF MEATH--has
written a letter to MR. POLLARD URQUHART, M.P., to inquire how far he,
the said DR. CANTWELL, is liable to the Income-Tax, inasmuch as he
appears to be prohibited, by the Ecclesiastical Titles' Act, from
returning himself under Schedule D as the recipient of any income by the
title of BISHOP OF MEATH. MR. URQUHART, who seems to be the MAWWORM to
the CANTWELL, answers, that he is rejoiced at any incident that has
tended to make more manifest the absurdity of the Ecclesiastical Titles'
Act; but that he is "unable to propound any solution of the difficulty,
and, indeed, thinks it would require a very wise man to do so." In that
opinion he may be correct; nevertheless the problem is very obviously
soluble to _Punch_.

All that DR. CANTWELL--who declares himself "unwilling even to appear to
resist any law, however unjust and oppressive"--all that titular BISHOP
CANTWELL has to do--is simply to return himself as being in the receipt
of an income in this country derived from an office which he holds under
a foreign power. What may be the denomination of that office he need not
state, unless he would wish to contribute to HER MAJESTY'S Exchequer the
fine of a hundred pounds, in addition to the lesser penalty of
sevenpence in the pound.

It is not everybody that _Punch_ would take the trouble of teaching how
to place himself under Schedule D; but really DR. CANTWELL appears so
very anxious to pay his Income-Tax conscientiously, that _Mr. Punch_
cannot deny himself the pleasure of assisting the right reverend
gentleman in the disch