his Shoulder, and the first thing you knew he was on the
Inside demanding a fair cut of the Swag.

The Golden Rule received many a Jolt, but he adhered strictly to the
old and favorite Admonition: If you want Yours, take a short piece of
Lead Pipe and go out and Collect.

On a certain January First he made a careful Invoice. All the Hard-
Earned Kale dropped into the Mining Companies or loaned to Relatives
of Wife he marked off and put under the Head of Gone but not Forgotten.
He was a True Business Guy. Even after subtracting all Cats and Dogs
he could still total the magnificent Sum of One Hundred Thousand
Dollars.

When he looked at this Mound of Currency, he felt like a Vag and a
Pauper. For he had climbed to the table-lands of High Finance and
taken a peek at the Steam-Roller methods of the Real Tabascos.

"Make it a Million," said Ambition, leaning across the Table and
tapping nervously. "Are you going to be satisfied with a Station Wagon
and a Colored Boy when you might have a long-waisted Vehicle with two
pale Simpsons in Livery on the Box? When you go into your Club and see
the Menials kow-towing to a cold-looking Party with rippling Chins who
seems to favor his Feet, you know that he gets the Waving Palms and the
Frankincense because he is a Millionaire. You and the other financial
Gnats are admitted simply to make a Stage Setting for the Big Squash."

"I always said that when I got a Hundred Thousand I'd take a long
Vacation in Europe and learn how to order a Meal," suggested Our Hero,
holding out weakly.

"When you came back you would find your hated Rival on the Hill with
the Batteries turned against you. Camp on the Job and work straight
toward the High Mark. And remember that anybody with less than a
Million is a Two-Spot in a soiled Deck."

From that day the Piking ceased. No more of the dinky trafficking of
the Retailer. He went out and bought Public Service Utilities on
Nerve, treated them with Aqua Pura by the Hogshead, and created Wealth
by purely lithographic Methods. And, if he wanted to reason out a
Deal with a contrary-minded Gazook, he began the Negotiations by
soaking the Adversary behind the Ear and frisking him before he came
to.

A Fairy Wand had been waved above the snide Bungalow, and it was now
a Queen Anne Chateau dripping with Dew-dads of Scroll Work and
congested with Black Walnut. The Goddess took her Mocha in the
Feathers, and a Music Teacher came twice each w