inful. No further steps have been
taken about the project I mentioned to you, nor probably will be for
the present; but Emily, and Anne, and I, keep it in view. It is our
polar star, and we look to it in all circumstances of despondency. I
begin to suspect I am writing in a strain which will make you think I
am unhappy. This is far from being the case; on the contrary, I know
my place is a favourable one, for a governess. What dismays and
haunts me sometimes, is a conviction that I have no natural knack for
my vocation. If teaching only were requisite, it would be smooth and
easy; but it is the living in other people's houses--the estrangement
from one's real character--the adoption of a cold, rigid, apathetic
exterior, that is painful . . . You will not mention our school
project at present. A project not actually commenced is always
uncertain. Write to me often, my dear Nell; you _know_ your letters
are valued. Your 'loving child' (as you choose to call me so),

C. B.

"P.S. I am well in health; don't fancy I am not, but I have one
aching feeling at my heart (I must allude to it, though I had resolved
not to). It is about Anne; she has so much to endure: far, far more
than I ever had. When my thoughts turn to her, they always see her as
a patient, persecuted stranger. I know what concealed susceptibility
is in her nature, when her feelings are wounded. I wish I could be
with her, to administer a little balm. She is more lonely--less
gifted with the power of making friends, even than I am. 'Drop the
subject.'"

She could bear much for herself; but she could not patiently bear the
sorrows of others, especially of her sisters; and again, of the two
sisters, the idea of the little, gentle, youngest suffering in lonely
patience, was insupportable to her. Something must be done. No matter
if the desired end were far away; all time was lost in which she was not
making progress, however slow, towards it. To have a school, was to have
some portion of daily leisure, uncontrolled but by her own sense of duty;
it was for the three sisters, loving each other with so passionate an
affection, to be together under one roof, and yet earning their own
subsistence; above all, it was to have the power of watching over these
two whose life and happiness were ever to Charlotte far more than her
own. But no trembling impatience should lead her to t