situation till my future prospects assume a
more fixed and definite aspect."

A fortnight afterwards, we see that the seed has been sown which was to
grow up into a plan materially influencing her future life.

"August 7th, 1841.

"This is Saturday evening; I have put the children to bed; now I am
going to sit down and answer your letter. I am again by
myself--housekeeper and governess--for Mr. and Mrs. --- are staying at
---. To speak truth, though I am solitary while they are away, it is
still by far the happiest part of my time. The children are under
decent control, the servants are very observant and attentive to me,
and the occasional absence of the master and mistress relieves me from
the duty of always endeavouring to seem cheerful and conversable.
Martha ---, it appears, is in the way of enjoying great advantages; so
is Mary, for you will be surprised to hear that she is returning
immediately to the Continent with her brother; not, however, to stay
there, but to take a month's tour and recreation. I have had a long
letter from Mary, and a packet containing a present of a very handsome
black silk scarf, and a pair of beautiful kid gloves, bought at
Brussels. Of course, I was in one sense pleased with the gift--pleased
that they should think of me so far off, amidst the excitements of one
of the most splendid capitals of Europe; and yet it felt irksome to
accept it. I should think Mary and Martha have not more than
sufficient pocket-money to supply themselves. I wish they had
testified their regard by a less expensive token. Mary's letters
spoke of some of the pictures and cathedrals she had seen--pictures
the most exquisite, cathedrals the most venerable. I hardly know what
swelled to my throat as I read her letter: such a vehement impatience
of restraint and steady work; such a strong wish for wings--wings such
as wealth can furnish; such an urgent thirst to see, to know, to
learn; something internal seemed to expand bodily for a minute. I was
tantalised by the consciousness of faculties unexercised,--then all
collapsed, and I despaired. My dear, I would hardly make that
confession to any one but yourself; and to you, rather in a letter
than _viva voce_. These rebellious and absurd emotions were only
momentary; I quelled them in five minutes. I hope they will not
revive, for they were acutely pa