erhaps, think it a wild and
ambitious scheme; but who ever rose in the world without ambition?
When he left Ireland to go to Cambridge University, he was as
ambitious as I am now. I want us _all_ to get on. I know we have
talents, and I want them to be turned to account. I look to you,
aunt, to help us. I think you will not refuse. I know, if you
consent, it shall not be my fault if you ever repent your kindness."

This letter was written from the house in which she was residing as
governess. It was some little time before an answer came. Much had to
be talked over between the father and aunt in Haworth Parsonage. At last
consent was given. Then, and not till then, she confided her plan to an
intimate friend. She was not one to talk over-much about any project,
while it remained uncertain--to speak about her labour, in any direction,
while its result was doubtful.

"Nov. 2nd, 1841.

"Now let us begin to quarrel. In the first place, I must consider
whether I will commence operations on the defensive, or the offensive.
The defensive, I think. You say, and I see plainly, that your
feelings have been hurt by an apparent want of confidence on my part.
You heard from others of Miss W---'s overtures before I communicated
them to you myself. This is true. I was deliberating on plans
important to my future prospects. I never exchanged a letter with you
on the subject. True again. This appears strange conduct to a
friend, near and dear, long-known, and never found wanting. Most
true. I cannot give you my _excuses_ for this behaviour; this word
_excuse_ implies confession of a fault, and I do not feel that I have
been in fault. The plain fact is, I _was_ not, I am not now, certain
of my destiny. On the contrary, I have been most uncertain, perplexed
with contradictory schemes and proposals. My time, as I have often
told you, is fully occupied; yet I had many letters to write, which it
was absolutely necessary should be written. I knew it would avail
nothing to write to you then to say I was in doubt and
uncertainty--hoping this, fearing that, anxious, eagerly desirous to
do what seemed impossible to be done. When I thought of you in that
busy interval, it was to resolve, that you should know all when my way
was clear, and my grand end attained. If I could, I would always work
in silence and obscurity, and let my effort