n' I do," she replied, "for that's what the praist ses."

"Well, then, what is going to become of me?"

"Oh, that's all right," she answered, with an Irish twinkle in her eyes.
"Yer riverence will be saved by yer ignorince."

WHEN THE "S" FELL OUT

"We are thorry to thay," explained the editor of the Skedunk _Weekly
News_, "that our compothing-room wath entered lath night by thome
unknown thcoundrel, who thtole every 'eth' in the ethtablithment, and
thucceeded in making hith ethcape undetected.

"The motive of the mithcreant doubtleth wath revenge for thome
thuppothed inthult.

"It thall never be thaid that the petty thpite of any thmall-thouled
villain hath dithabled the _Newth_, and if thith meet the eye of the
detethtable rathcal, we beg to athure him that he underethtimated the
rethourceth of a firtht-clath newthpaper when he thinkth he can cripple
it hopelethly by breaking into the alphabet. We take occathion to thay
to him furthermore that before next Thurthday we thall have three timeth
ath many etheth ath he thtole.

"We have reathon to thuthpect that we know the cowardly thkunk who
committed thith act of vandalithm, and if he ith ever theen prowling
about thith ethtablithment again, by day or by night, nothing will give
uth more thatithfaction than to thoot hith hide full of holeth."

FULL PARTICULARS FREE

They were seated in a tramcar--the mother and her little boy.

The conductor eyed the little boy suspiciously. He had to keep a lookout
for people who pretended that their children were younger than they
really were, in order to obtain free rides for them.

"And how old is your little boy, madam, please?"

"Three and a half," said the mother truthfully.

"Right, ma'am," said the conductor, satisfied.

Little Willie pondered a minute. It seemed to him that fuller
information was required.

"And mother's thirty-one," he said politely.

THEY WERE SO GLAD TO SEE HIM

"I am taking some notes about civic pride," said the urbane stranger, as
he wandered into the up-to-date community. "I suppose you have such a
thing?"

"Well, I should say we had," said the corner real estate agent. "I am
loaded with it myself."

"Good!" replied the agent, taking out his memo-book. "I'll make a note
of it. This, you will understand, is a more or less scientific inquiry,
and I shall make my estimates as carefully as possible, with all due
regard to the human equation. Who, should you say, has the most ci