d get him his card; the boy brought out five cents, with the
message that his card was torn up. Then the salesman took out another
card and sent the boy back, saying: "Tell your boss I sell two cards for
five cents."

He got his interview and sold a large bill of goods.

BARGAIN-COUNTER GOLF

"Fore!" yelled the golfer, ready to play. But the woman on the course
paid no attention.

"Fore!" he shouted again with no effect.

"Ah," suggested his opponent in disgust, "try her once with 'three
ninety-eight'!"

UNEASY

It was in a churchyard. The morning sun shone brightly and the dew was
still on the grass.

"Ah, this is the weather that makes things spring up," remarked a
passer-by casually to an old gentleman seated on a bench.

"Hush!" replied the old gentleman. "I've got three wives buried here."

PERFECTLY NATURAL

They gave the old lady the only unoccupied room in the hotel--one with a
private bath adjoining. The next morning, when the guest was ready to
check out, the clerk asked:

"Did you have a good night's rest?"

"Well, no, I didn't," she replied. "The room was all right, and the bed
was pretty good; but I couldn't sleep very much, for I was afraid
someone would want to take a bath, and the only way to it was through my
room."

A DIPLOMAT

An Ohio man was having a lot of trouble piloting a one-tent show through
the Middle West. He lost a number of valuable animals by accident and
otherwise. Therefore, it was with a sympathetic mien that one of the
keepers undertook the task of breaking the news of another disaster. He
began thus:

"Mr. Smith, you remember that laughin' hyena in cage nine?"

"Remember the laughing hyena?" demanded the owner, angrily. "What the
deuce are you driving at?"

"Only this, Mr. Smith: he ain't got nothing to laugh at this morning."

THE DIFFERENCE

Two pals, both recently wedded, were comparing the merits of their
wives.

"Ah, yes," said George, who was still very much in love, "my little
woman is an angel! She couldn't tell a lie to save her life!"

"Lucky bounder!" said Samuel, sighing. "My wife can tell a lie the
minute I get it out of my mouth!"

WORSE!

The worried countenance of the bridegroom disturbed the best man.
Tiptoeing up the aisle, he whispered:

"What's the matter, Jock? Hae ye lost the ring?"

"No," blurted out the unhappy Jock, "the ring's safe eno'. But, mon,
I've lost ma enthusiasm."

THE TEUTON WAY

A story illustr