s Illinois tractor
with a Moline plow attached. After the day's work he rides down town in
a Detroit automobile, buys a box of St. Louis candy for his wife, and
spins back home, where he listens to music "canned" in New Jersey.

THE BETTER WAY

Charles M. Schwab, congratulated in Pittsburgh on a large war order
contract which he had just received from one of the warring nations,
said:

"Some people call it luck, but they are mistaken. Whatever success I
have is due to hard work and not to luck.

"I remember a New York business man who crossed the ocean with me one
winter when the whole country was suffering from hard times.

"'And you. Mr. Schwab,' the New Yorker said, 'are, like the rest of us,
I suppose, hoping for better things?'

"'No, my friend,' I replied. 'No, I am not hoping for better things.
I've got my sleeves rolled up and I'm working for them.'"

A HORSE PSYCHOLOGIST

Twice as the horse-bus slowly wended its way up the steep hill the door
at the rear opened and slammed. At first those inside paid little heed,
but the third time they demanded to know why they should be disturbed in
this fashion.

"Whist!" cautioned the driver. "Don't spake so loud. He'll overhear us."

"Who?"

"The hoss. Spake low. Shure Oo'm desavin' the crayture. Every toime he
'ears th' door close he thinks wan o' yez is gettin' down ter walk up
th' hill, an' that sort o' raises 'is sperrits."

STILL NOT SATISFIED

Mrs. Higgins was an incurable grumbler. She grumbled at everything and
everyone. But at last the vicar thought he had found something about
which she could make no complaint; the old lady's crop of potatoes was
certainly the finest for miles round.

"Ah, for once you must be well pleased," he said, with a beaming smile,
as he met her in the village street. "Everyone's saying how splendid
your potatoes are this year."

The old lady glowered at him as she answered:

"They're not so poor. But where's the bad ones for the pigs?"

A COAXER

The latest American church device for "raising the wind" is what a
religious paper describes as "some collection-box." The inventor hails
from Oklahoma. If a member of the congregation drops in a twenty-five
cent piece or a coin of larger value, there is silence. If it is a
ten-cent piece a bell rings, a five-cent piece sounds a whistle, and a
cent fires a blank cartridge. If any one pretends to be asleep when the
box passes, it awakens him with a watchman's rattle